Monday, December 31, 2007

December

  • picture perfect

    Not exactly how I would describe 2007.

    It started off extremely well, but after the first two months, it just plummeted.
    I admit I took things way too hard and made them much more dramatic then they needed to be from March until June, but still. It would've sucked anyway.
    The summer was okay I guess, uneventful.
    When school started I was hoping for a positive change, but that isn't what happened. Even more dramatic crap happened and stuff went down hill again.
    Every time something looked like it was going my way, something bad would happen or I'd mess it up. It sucked.

    2008 is less than 3 hours away and I am stuck at home with my mother and two pets. I am without plans my senior year. Not how I wanted to ring in the new year, but it'll have to do.

    2008 will be better. It has to be better. I have to be better.

    I will live it up.

  • I am de-stressed for now.
    Acceptance letters will come.
    Senior project I can handle.
    Winter Formal will be a bomb ass pre-birthday bash... fo shizz

    Talking to a friend last night, pretty much my brother from another mother, cleared some stuff up. He always knows how to help. We just get each other practically without saying anything. Anyway... I'm going to live it up this year. My last semester of high school will be kick-ass, my summer will be the best, and I'll grow majorly my first semester of college. I'm going to live 2008 to the fullest.

    And formal, I changed my first choice again lol. He shouldn't be my first choice because that's dangerous waters, but if I want to go with him, I should take a chance and ask. So I will if he doesn't.

  • I can't beleive how cold I am right now. Seriously. I'm always cold, but this is ridiculous. Brrrrrrr.....
    I guess I'll put a jacket on or something....


    A little better.


    I'm starting to stress out about stuff. I can't start off 2008 stressed.
    I'm stressing about acceptance letters, formal, the senior project, everything.
    I need to calm down. I think I need some quality time with my friends. A party before school starts would be nice too
    And I need to see about making some New Year's Eve plans since I don't want to be stuck with my grandparents or being the only one up at my dad's.
    As for formal, I think I jinxed myself. Before I said I had a feeling nobody would ask, and it looks that way. I know I haven't been in school, so I still have a shot, but still. I'm getting worried. And the guy I want to go with, I doubt he'll ask. And the other guy I want to go with, he won't ask either. I think I'm brave enough to ask him, but if I did, I think I'd lose a friend real quick.

    Oh the positions I put myself into.

  • So my mom and I ventured out to the new Krikorian in Pico and it was pretty nice. I'd have to say it's almost as nice as the theatres on Birch Street and the one at Downtown Disney.
    But there was like a mini wax museum part that was pretty creepy. Nightmare status.
    Anyway, Sweeny Todd was good. A little on the gory side, but good. I didn't care for the ending though. It didn't tie off loose ends. Whatever.

  • I will have a winter formal date by January 12th, 2008.
    I will look great in my Winter Formal dress.
    I will be an honest person and a great friend.
    My mother will be finacially stable this upcoming year.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine University and recieve a sufficient amount of money from them.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate high school.

  • ... I've been eating, but I've been having some pretty trippy dreams lately.

    Monday night I had a dream about some guy I fell in love with at like some banquet or something. Total Romeo and Juliet status. But I don't know who the guy is or what his name is. And the weird part is, I had the same dream just a few days earlier.
    Then last night I had a dream about Winter Formal. It wasn't a good one. I had forgotten about it, so I was rushing to get ready at 8, I forgot my ticket, and when I got there, I didn't have a date so I didn't know who to take a picture with. Then it morphed into like an AP test/honor band rehersal. And I was late, so I missed a solo and I didn't get to play contra. Weird.

    Anyway... I'm still excited for formal. I bought my dress today. So unless I find a prettier one, that's the one I'll be partyin' in on February 1st. I just need a date. I know who I want to go with, now it just needs to happen by will of the universe. Fingers crossed.

  • A warm, comfy blankie

    An American Express, American Eagle Outfitters, Borders, and Polly's Pies certificate

    A camera

    Two sweaters and two jackets

    Two pairs of pajamas

    Two watches

    Two perfumes (one of which I'm exchanging tomorrow)

    A duffle bag (?)

    The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen dvd

    A sudoku game thingamabob

    A beanie/glove set

    Money

    A HIPPOPATAMUS!


    And hands down, Rebecca takes the cake for the best Christmas present this year. She hooked me up. She's the best Pepino anyone could ever dream of having. Fo shizz.

  • Christmas Eve was a success. I'm still sick, but I'm not as sick as I have been on Christmas Eves past.

    Can't wait to open presents in the morning... and then later in the afternoon.

    Merry Christmas!



    The Bird and the Bee

  • Are pretty bomb.
    Check 'em out.

    P.S. Merry Christmas Adam!

  • I'm starting to get excited for Winter Formal. I wasn't so excited before, but now that it's a little over a month away, I'm starting to think of it more.
    I tried on some dresses yesterday just for fun, and I think that sealed the deal for my excitement. I love trying on dresses, but I hate it at the same time because I look good in all of them. But I think I know what colour I want. And I had originally wanted my date to wear white, but not anymore. It won't match the colour I want to wear. Maybe for prom. But maybe I'll fall in love with a dress that isn't that colour...
    And I know who I want to go to formal with. I didn't think of him at first, but my friend mentioned him the other day and he's been on my mind ever since. So I've recruited somebody to try and make it happen. It's a long shot though. I'd be envied by "half of the girls there" if I went with him. We'll see. Fingers crossed. And I have two guys I'm thinking about asking if I don't get asked. A junior and a senior. Hopefully it won't come to that.

  • I don't feel too good right now and I want to go out tomorrow night. No way I'll be allowed to go out if I'm not better.
    So I will be all better tomorrow. I just need to take some Airborne and I'll be set.
    That way I can dance with some more random boys. Lol.
    But supposedly this party's going to crack like chapped lips, so hopefully I'll get to go.
    We'll see.

  • I will have a winter formal date by January 12th, 2008.
    My winter formal date will be:
    I will be an honest person and a great friend.
    My mother will be finacially stable this upcoming year.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine University and recieve a sufficient amount of money from them.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate high school.

  • Wicked was good. I enjoyed it better the first time though. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I wasn't so tired or maybe it was because I went with my boyfriend. Whatever.

  • He asked me to formal again. I believe he was serious this time. He was acting serious. But I said no. As much as I was originally hoping he'd ask, I just couldn't go with him. He messed up. His loss.
    So I will be asked by January 12th, or I will ask someone. I don't really want to ask someone, but I will if I have to.
    But... there is talk of a potential hook-up with a Herald. Emphasis on potential. One of my firends is going with her boyfriend who goes to Whittier Christian, and so he won't be alone, they figured one of her friends could go with one of his friends. I could be that friend! I am so down.
    But that's still up in the air. Lot's of things are up in the air. I think I want them to stay there until next year. It's only about a week. Not too long.

  • Today was a waste. I stayed home because I really wasn't feeling the whole school idea this morning, but I probably should've went anyway. I could've got so much accomplished today, but I didn't. I was lazy. Whatever.

  • Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    So Nathan and I went out on Friday and saw a Enchanted. Then we walked around, found a dark, quiet spot, and made out. But it was much better than our last make out sesh. It felt real. It felt right. And lately I've been noticing how much he's grown up and what a good guy he is, and I was starting to have feelings for him. Friday just made it more real. But there's Kimi to worry about. I want us to be close like we were, but that won't happen if Nathan and I get together.
    I think we should hold off on anything like that until after break to see where our feelings are and see if we can pull this off. Maybe we'll just date on the downlow and see if that works before we jump into a relationship.

  • and away!
    Hopefully tonight will lift my spirits. I need to let loose. I've been too wound up lately.

  • Just kidding.
    Lol.
    But Enchanted ended that way, so that was cute. The movie was adorably cute and sappy. But again, it made me long for a sappy relationship, butterflies, and prince charming. I need to have butterflies again. It's been too long.
    And things have to start looking up soon so I can better deal with everything that's going on. It's been brought to my attention that my drama has caused me to distance myself from my friends. I don't want my friends to feel at blame, so there has to be a positive change soon so I can more easily act like everything's dandy.

  • I will have a Winter Formal date by January 12th 2007.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate from high school.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine and recieve a sufficient amount of financial aid from that university.

    Wow! Two in one day!
  • Okay...
    So he asked me to fomal today. My heart stopped for a second because I wasn't quite sure if I should really tell him no or not. But then he had to be a jerl and say, "just kidding." So I gave him like a "wtf are you doing?" face. Then he said, "Well, idk if I'm just kidding. Idk yet." So for sure it's a no if he really asks me. No girl should be toyed around with like that. It isn't fair.

    Then on the way home from my SC interview my dad asked what I wanted for Christmas, so I said a date to formal. The next few minutes were so awkward, but I'm taking it to heart. He said I need to make a list of guys that I want to go with and go after them. He said to write down whatever I want in life and concentrate on it, and it will come true. I believe him. My mom's reading this book called The Secret and it's like that too. To focus on what you want in life. I think I'm going to try it. I will make a list of things I want and concentrate real hard on those things.
    First list: Dates to formal, excluding the one who ruined his chance

  • So I had an interview with admissions at USC tonight. I didn't request it, but one of the directors who I met with back in June remembered me and set it up, so I guess that's good. It was real quick and easy. My dad said I came out way too fast, but I mean, I answered all of the questions. What else could I have done?
    I know it's a great school and would be great for me, but I still don't want to go there. It's only number two on my list because it would be good for me. And the traffic tonight, just made me dislike it more. I do not want to deal with that kind of traffic when I want to go for a drive. It took almost an hour to go about ten miles, from one side of LA to the other. And thanks to the traffic, I completely missed ANTM. I guess I'll have to wait until Sunday to watch it

  • But I have so much left to do!

  • I broke down last night. Too much was wrong and it was too much for me to deal with. So I broke down. I don't remember the last time I cried that hard. I literally cried myself to sleep. And I might have to again tonight. I want my best friends back, but they've changed. I need the old ones. I need the one that wouldn't lie to me and the one that listened without turning it around.
    Maybe I need to find some new friends.

  • I don't want to be like my parents.

  • Was crazy amazing! I totally had no clue what the heck was going on, but it was still amazing. I had my mouth open in awe practically the whole time. Trippy for sure.

  • People have been letting me down left and right this week. I don't like it and I wish it would stop. And I almost had a breakdown last night. But I thought it best not to. I am about to explode if I don't spill soon. But I can't. I don't like my options.

  • "Do you have a date for formal?"
    "No, not yet."
    "Okay, I'll keep you in mind."

    A girl doesn't want a guy to say stuff like that. I kinda got offended by it. I don't want to be a "maybe" date. I want to be the date. If he asks, I think I might say no. Especially if I'm not the first one he asks.
    It's just him in general. I'm so attracted to him, and he said he feels the same way, but I get turned down. So I decided I was done with him for good. No more chances. And then I get my chance to possibly win him over, but I don't want to. He had his chance and he didn't take it. I'm done with this one. I'm extremely jealous of the girl(s) he likes, but why should I be? I'm done.
    Yeah. I think I'm flying solo this go 'round I went with a junior sophomore year and a sophomore junior year, so I have to go with someone my age this time. But I don't think that's going to happen...

  • I was excited for Winter Formal. I always get excited for Winter Formal, but I'm not so excited anymore. The location (the Santa Anita Racetrack) really isn't making me look forward to going. And for the past two years, I've had a date by now. I've had a date by Thanksgiving. This makes me kind of worried that I have no potential dates. I have a few people in mind that I could ask if I had to, but the guy's supposed to ask the girl. The guy asks the girl, and he pays for everything. But if I have to ask, I have to pay since they don't go to Cal... but they'll probably say no anyway. One already turned me down for prom last year to go to a car show. Who turns down prom to go to a car show?! Seriously.
    I need a Winter Formal date.

  • I saw The Majestic for the first time today. It would have been better without commercial interruptions and telephone calls, but I still liked it. I cried. It wasn't sad or anything, but it made me depressed. Movies and tv shows have been making me depressed lately. I've been watching movies and shows that end up having some sappy relationship in it. And the relationship is adorable. They love each other unconditionally and it's been that way since they were kids. Sappy and fictional, but still. It's depressing. I want to have a sappy relationship. I want to love someone unconditionally. Maybe not now since I'm young, but I still want a relationship made for the movies.

  • Jealousy gets the best of me and it really shouldn't. Even when I really have no reaon to be jealous, I get jealous. It's incredibly stupid. It relates back to wanting things I can't have. That's also incredibly stupid.

  • ...it's whatever. Oh how I love Chris Crocker!
    So last night was the senior circle. Every year after the last performance the band makes a giant circle around the seniors and they play the show. And every year everyone gets all emotional. For the last 3 years I did not get emotional. I didn't really have a reason to. This year, because I am finally a senior, I figured I might get emotional and cry. But no. No tears what so ever. I just wanted to hurry up and get home. I felt bad because it seemed like every other senior was crying but me. Even juniors and underclassmen were crying. But I mean, I wasn't going to force myself to cry. I didn't see the point. It's not like I'm never going to see these people again. I'll see them around school. I don't graduate for 7 more months.
    Whatever. I didn't feel it.

  • Marching band is done X 1,000,000
    Football season is done
    December started today
    Concert season starts Monday
    Winter Formal is in two months!
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