Monday, June 30, 2008

june

  • Marathon

    Current mood:blah

    These Degrassi marathons are keeping me sane.


  • Current mood:melancholy

    I just finished watching Jarhead, and though I'm not big on war movies, I liked it. The fact that my boy Jake had a few shots of his bootay thrown in helped too.

    Anyways... I want to be home. I don't like being at my dad's house. It's awkward and all I end up doing is staying in my room the whole weekend. I much rather be at a friend's house or my grandparent's house, or idk where. I just don't feel comfortable here. I've come to the conclusion that one of the reasons my father has yet given me permission to take my driving test is that he knows that once I get my license, I'll probably spend very little to no time here. And it's true. I will probably spend very little to no time here at his house. And if I choose to spend the weekend here, I'll probably be out most of the time. No, I WILL be out most of the time.

    And it's hit me. The graduation wave of emotion. The realization that high school is all over. The realization that I won't see my friends everyday next year. The realization that I have to start over (which is all I've wanted for years). So I cried. And cried. And cried some more. All in the privacy in my room where I will spend the rest of this evening and most likely all tomorrow. I'm even getting teary eyed right now.

    The truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared to be without my friends that have been there for me over the past 4 years. The friends that I've grown to love. I won't be able to turn to them when I need them the most. And next year is going to be extremely tough. I know I can still turn to them, but it'll be different. I won't have them physically there. I won't have their reassuring smile. I won't have their hugs that makes the whole world better. I'll have their words. I'll have their voices. It's going to be hard.

    There's a handfull of friends that I am going to try really hard to keep in touch with, but I don't know how well that will work. And there's one especially that I can't help be feel I'll lose touch with despite efforts to the contrary. That would be the worst. So it won't happen. It can't happen.

    *new subject*
    As of today, my father let me know that I am not allowed to go anywhere unless I drive. I intend to milk these instructions. I intend to be so literal, that it annoys him. Even when I'm not with him, I intend to call him up and ask his premission. And then for the past ten minutes he's been saying, "C'mon, let's go". I don't want to go get frozen yogurt. I don't want any, so why should I have to take you to get some? You could've been there and back by now. I don't feel like going. I feel like being alone in my room to dwell, not drive.


  • Current mood:bummed

    My mother will be financially stable.
    I will get good grades this last semester.
    I will pass both AP tests.
    I will be in great physical and mental shape by the time I graduate.
    I will find my prince charming.
    I will get my license soon.
    Rebecca and I will have a lasting friendship.
    Katy will be an awesome roommate.
    I will be set finacially while at Pepperdine.
    Nathan will leave me alone.
    Everything will be fine with Pepperdine.


  • Current mood:bummed

    tf?
    Don't say everyone will be there when you have no clue who's going to be there. You just look like a hypocrite after you get there and say, nobody's here.
    I should've just went into Andrew's party. Screw the popular people.

    • Pepp band

      Current mood:chipper

      I think it'd be totally fun to be in Pepperdine's Pepp Band. As long as we just do pep tunes and don't march around, I'm good. Hopefully I get a call from them.
      But then I'd still be a band geek, and I'm over that. But maybe I'm not. Whatev.


    • Current mood:bored

      That would describe today. L-A-M-E. Lame. To the max.


    • Current mood:disappointed

      That was one funny skit.

      Anywayz.... why must I continue to do things that I know I shouldn't? Why do I continue to make rash decisions?
      Maybe the rash decisions aren't so rash. My last one kind of made sense after the fact, so it worked out I guess.
      But I need to stop making bad decisions. For shizz.
      Pdine is going to whip me into shape for sure. Dry, Christian school + Distracted teen= a better me... at least I hope so.


    • Current mood:hungry

      I keep missing 11:11. I'm normally really good about it, but not lately.

      • ultra fine point

        Current mood:horny

        I will definitely return to Spain, and I will definitely visit Greece and Australia.
        I will also have an amazing boyfriend while at Pepperdine. That amazing boyfriend and I will also have an amazing relationship that will last the rest of our lives.


      • Current mood:ashamed

        I don't think I need male attention, but Rebecca thinks that's why I acted the way I did with Nathan. I don't think that's why. And then it kind of seemed that way last Thursday night too when I was dancing with those guys. I want to have fun. It's not my fault they don't want to dance with them. I like it. I don't need it.
        I think I'm going to ask her about it... eventually.


      • Current mood:hot

        Graduation went smoothly. I thought I would get emotional, but no. I just wanted the ceremony to hurry up.
        Grad Nite started off really slow, but it got better. It was sick crowded and hot, but dancing was a lot of fun. I hadn't danced since the club in Espana.
        Today was terribly hot. It's still terribly hot. And I feel gross. It isn't very fun. I just wish my room wasn't the hottest in the house and the house had air conditioning.
        I totally understand why Spaniards are on a weird schedule. It's totally my schedule too. Especially as of late.


      • Current mood:anxious

        My mother will be financially stable.
        I will get good grades this last semester.
        I will pass both AP tests.
        I will be in great physical and mental shape by the time I graduate.
        I will find my prince charming.
        I will get my license soon.
        Rebecca and I will have a lasting friendship.
        Katy will be an awesome roommate.
        I will be set finacially while at Pepperdine.
        Nathan will leave me alone.
        I will get a C in AP Physics at the semester.
        Graduation and Grad night will go smoothly.
        Everything will be fine with Pepperdine.


        • the big day

          Current mood:hot

          I finally graduate today. I can't wait to leave high school behind. It was stupid. Of course there's plenty of things and people that I encountered that I wouldn't have if it weren't for high school, but still. It sucked. This year especially.
          Next year is going to be awesome. It has to be awesome.


        • Current mood:excited

          ... I'm graduating tomorrow.


        • Current mood:creative

          Graduation's 2 day's away. Well, like 1.5 days.
          Practice this morning was kind of confusing, and way too hot, but I'm sure come Thursday evening, everything will work out.
          The Incredible Hulk was pretty good. I can't wait to see whichever movie comes next: Iron Man or another Hulk... or maybe another one that fits in with those.
          Lunch was awesome. It was the best and Vanessa's favorite. And the company was awesome too.
          Hopefully tomorrow's breakfast goes well and the rest of the day too.


        • Current mood:content

          So today was my last real day of high school. My classes were all chill today, which was way better than having finals. And the rest of the week should be pretty chill too.


          • food

            Current mood:nerdy

            ...wasn't all that great today.
            Jen made her notoriously infamous pancakes and my dad made bloody rare steaks.
            I just wanted one good meal today.


          • Current mood:hungry

            ... didn't go down like we thought it would. But the night turned out well anyway.


          • Current mood:scared

            Was a blast. My friends are awesome.
            And Strangers was pretty darn scary. I'm going to have nightmares for sure.


          • Current mood:sleepy

            My mother will be financially stable.
            I will get good grades this last semester.
            I will pass both AP tests.
            I will be in great physical and mental shape by the time I graduate.
            I will find my prince charming.
            I will get my license soon.
            Rebecca and I will have a lasting friendship.
            Katy will be an awesome roommate.
            I will be set finacially while at Pepperdine.
            Nathan will leave me alone.
            I will get a C in AP Physics at the semester.

            • point of interest

              Current mood:vexed

              I was soooooo excited for Powder Puff this year.
              I was playing a fun position and was excited to actually get to touch the ball.
              But did it turn out that way?
              No.
              I went in for three plays. Total of about 30 seconds.
              Practicing was a waste of my time.
              I shouldn't have even played at all.
              And the girl who I would go in for played the whole damn game.
              I was so fucking pissed afterwards.
              Screw the coaches.
              And that's who got to play. The girls who screw the coaches.


            • Current mood:confused

              ... is sooooo addicting!
              I should've never downloaded it for my i-Pod!


            • Current mood:sleepy

              ...means no.

            • Current mood:lazy

              I have to find a roommate in one week.

              • my friends

                Current mood:busy

                are the best. I love them.


              • Current mood:confused

                My foot's asleep and so is my brain. If I'm in pain then I dont feel it, my face should reveal it. I am grinning as they're cutting me in half, and all I can do is laugh.


              • Current mood:sleepy

                I will catch up in my classes.
                My mother will be financially stable.
                I will get good grades this last semester.
                I will pass both AP tests.
                I will be in great physical and mental shape by the time I graduate.
                I will find my prince charming.
                I will get my license soon.
                Rebecca and I will have a lasting friendship.
                I will end up with an awesome roommate.
                I will be set finacially while at Pepperdine.
                I will win the Elisabeth Johnson Scholarship.
                Nathan will leave me alone.


              • Current mood:distractable

                ... needs to get a clue before they get decked in the face.

                • it’s academic

                  Current mood:awake

                  I am soooo glad the stupid senior project is done and over with. It was lame to the max and back... times infinity.

                • Current mood:okay

                  7:03 PM I left the house and started running to Rivera. I got to Rivera, voted , and ran back home.
                  7:12 PM I arrived at my front step.


                • Current mood:understimulated

                  I really don't want to muscle through 3 more weeks of school.
                  We have a regular day tomorrow, and minimum days the rest of the week, but that's still too long. Going to six classes is too much. Having to do my speech on Wednesday is too much.
                  And then next week is finals. I'm not down for next week. Finals can go die.
                  But the week after is pretty chill I guess. Food and grad rehearsal works. And then graduation and Disneyland works too.


                • Current mood:overstimulated

                  The yearbook turned out good. I'm happy with it. I think everyone else will be happy with it too.


                  my date

                  Current mood:tired

                  ... with my mom was fun.
                  We went to dinner, walked around for a bit, and went to the movies.
                  Dinner was delicious, walking around was unplanned but fun, and Made of Honor was cute.

                  *I'm going to miss you too Mom. Just don't make me cry again. It's not like I'm falling off the face of the earth. I can come home whenever and I'll probably talk to you every day.
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