Monday, March 31, 2008

march

  • Day 8

    Current mood:blah

    Today was our last full day in Europe. It was a pretty chill day. Nothing was planned so we got to do whatever we wanted. I slept in until 11:30 and went shopping the rest of the day. Lunch today was soooo bomb. Norma and I went to a tapas bar, Nuria, and split a meat platter. It was oh so delicious to the max! A little pricey, 34,40 E, but worth it.
    I’m pretty sad to leave this place, but I’m excited to come home. I miss my family and friends. But I most def want to come back to Spain. France was okay, but Spain was awesome. I totally feel like I belong here, aside from the fact that I don’t speak Spanish.
    And I definitely think SPanish boys are hotter than French ones. But for girls it’s the other way around. And there were like no fat French people. I counted 5. I lost count in Spain, but it doesn’t compare to the number in the US.
    I have to wake up early tomorrow, so I’m off to bed.
    i Buenas noches!

  • I am bored, in the lobby of our hotel, and I have nothing better to do right now. Nathan wanted me to come up, but I said no this time. I would’ve really liked to, but it’s not right.
    Last night Nathan slept in our room, with me. It was nice, but then we started messing around and it was really weird.
    Anyway, today was cool. We toured around Barcelona, did some shopping and saw Flamenco dancers. The flemenco was awesome until someone spilled their sangria on me. It got all over my pants and on my yellow sweatshirt. I smelled like a wino for sure. My pants should be okay, but my sweatshirt’s ruined for sure. Whatever though, it’s okay. It’s just a sweatshirt.
    And I have realized today that Kimi is not one of my best friends. She’s a good friend, but we are just way too different. I was hoping we’d get closer over this trip, but I feel like we’re a little more strained. If it isn’t meant to be, it isn’t meant to be.

  • Spain is the best! Carcasonne, our last stop in France was kinda lame, but Barcelona is totally wonderful. Our hotel is really nice aside from out little water drama earlier. And tonight was the best ever! I went to a club! And I danced with 3 different Spanish guys! Cheoow!
    I had a blast! OMG! I am out of it!

  • Today was really nice. This morning we made our way to Cassis, a beautiful little town right on the coast. I thought it was a sign that I’ll get into Pepperdine because it was a beach town like Malibu and I was wearing orange and blue. I hope I get in. Anyway, we went on a boat trip and I think that’s been my highlight of the trip. The Mediterrainean water was brilliant shades of blue, the cliffs were beautiful, and the weather was great. Perfect. The rest of the day was pretty chill too. I didn’t go to dinner though. I was too tired.
    I’m excited for tomorrow! Spain, here we come!

  • Shit shit shit! I knew this was going to happen! Fuck! I knew and I didn’t stop it and I should’ve. I should’ve stopped it and I didn’t because I liked it. OMG! I am so stupid. And I bet everyone knows OMG! I need to stop doing this with anyone. I can’t believe my lack of will power. It’s incredible and unfortunate. I don’t feel guilty, but i know I should not have let anything happen... EVER.

  • I will have fun the rest of this trip.
    I will be civil with Nathan.
    Nathan will be civil with me.
    I will have 4 acceptance letters when I come home.
    I will catch up quickly in my classes.
    My mother will be financially stable.
    I will recieve enough $ form Pepperdine.
    I will do well on my senior project.
    I will get good grades this last semester.
    I will pass both AP tests.
    I will be in great physical and mental shape by the time I graduate.
    I will find my prince charming.
    I will have a great time at prom in my beautiful dress and Daniel as my date.

  • Today was kinda blah. Last nightt Arlene and I kept laughing, having fun, until Kimi got mad. So we stopped and went to bed. Breakfast was weak. Then we drove around and did a self guided tour of Avignon. Lunch was weak too. I didn’t eat because we went to McDonald’s. I ate a rice crispy treat and some goldfish later though. Then we did more touring of Avignon and went over ot some old Roman aquaduct thing. It was cool I guess. But Kimi was being all emo/bitchy and was all, "I have to get 10 hours of sleep tonight!" So that means she’d have to be in bed by 9 and it’s 9:55 and she is MIA. She went shopping after dinner with the boys. I thought I’d be nice and come shower so I wouldn’t interrupt her when she got back, but whatev.

  • Last night was too much fun. Arlene and I were just messing around the whole time and talking/laughing about gypsies. It was stupid. Then the boys came over and killed it. Buzzkill! Then Arlene and I sprayed silly string in their room and then Kimi and Arlene returned their key... but that didn’t turn out so well. They didn’t get the key. But they were messed up, so they didn’t remember.
    Today was pretty much a waste. We left the hotel around 12, went to the train station, got on a train to Avignon/Provence, checked in and ate.
    So our room is TINY to the max. Barely enough room for three people.
    And then Arlene and I went to the bowling alley, played air hockey, drank some Smirnoff lol, and then played pool with Aaron.

  • Today was better than yesterday. It might’ve been because I wasn’t so tired or maybe it was because I didn’t really didn’t have to be a loner. I’m not so much a loner as I am a third wheel between Kimi and Nathan. I still don’t want anything to do with him. How sad, but whatever.
    Anyway, today we went sightseeing on a bus tour throughout Paris. Everything looks so old and fake. It was all a facade lol. But seriously, it’s cool though. I guess. It’s surreal. It hasn’t totally hit me yet. And I’m in love with crepes. I had one yesterday and 2 today. Plus, they’re easy to order. Musee d’Orsay was okay. I didn’t get to appreciate it much because someone kept saying how theyy hated art and was being quite immature. Then we went to dinner. It was much better than last night’s quesadilla things. Tonight we had rice, chicken, mushrooms, and "gravy shit". Norma’s really funny. She was making me laught super hard when we were in line for the Eifel tower. The tower is soooo big! I didn’t realize how big it was. It was cool being up there, not as cold as I thought, so that’s good. The we finished with the Metro.
    Kimi’s asleep, Arlene’s with Patrick, and Nathan and Aaron just came up to write with me. Awkward to the max. I don’t see anything happening between me and Aaron or Nathan. I can deal with Aaron for sure, bit I totally wish Natahan wasn’t here, or at least not around.
    And I totally miss Diva! Dogs are everywhere and they’re so well behaved
    Bonne nuit

  • So we made it. We’re in France. And I’m still not excited. I am very tired though. Je suis fatiguee. The first plane ride was okay. I tried to read Wuthering Heights, but I didn’t get very far. 4 chapters. I got to see August Rush though. It was okay, nothing special. The second plane ride was probably the best flight I’ve been on. Total, I only slept about an hour and a half. I got to listen to my i-pod, watch Spongebob and 30-Rock, Juno, Enchanted, and Bee Movie. And the food was really good too. We landed super early and it was freezing! It was cold all day, and rainy. I don’t see what’s so special about France yet. It reminds me of a pretty downtown LA/New York. The train’s cool though. We did a lot of walking today. Too much considering the weather. It was hard ordering food, but do-able. And some gypsy lady kept asking people for money lol. The food’s okay too. Nothing special.
    I’m not homesick or anything, but I miss some people. I especially missed Vanessa today. There are black guys everywhere lol. And I think Rebecca would’ve really liked Notre Dame. That was beautiful, but I didn’t get a big charge out of it.

  • I’m off to the airport in like 30 minutes and of to Europe in like 4 hours.
    See you later suckerz! I’m takin’ myself a hot air balloon ride!

  • is kind of a cute song. Oh that Chris Brown...

    I still need to pack. I don’t think I’m going to sleep until the flight from New York to Paris. That way I can sleep on that one, and be awake and fresh when we land. I can do it.

    SNL, here I come.

  • You try to gain my trust, talking is not enough
    Actions speak louder than words
    You gotta show us something
    My heart is missing some pieces
    I need this puzzle put together again

    I just had a dream, about prom. It was at Seaworld, there were a lot of mazes, tons of people were wearing purple, and it was lame. Hopefully that’s not how this one goes.

    My convo today wasn’t deep, but it helped. They always help.

    And I caught myself going deep lately with these things, so I’m just going to be posting filler ones from now til 06/19. Then I’m done and on to bigger and better things. I will however be writing a filler and a real one while I’m away so I can catch up when I get back.


    ahhh!

  • Last one of the night.
    I’m going to have a deep convo tomorrow to ease my mind.
    But the quick text sesh made me feel a tad better.
    I do know better. In both cases, once I saw it wouldn’t be the same or better, I should’ve just stopped and moved on. But I got involved. And now I’m hurt. For the second time by one, for the idk-th time by the other. But it’s "karma", it serves me right.
    I’m glad there are a selected few that are there for me without putting on a bullshit front.
    That is why I can’t bring people in. I get hurt. And then I get pissed and don’t really care what happens anymore.
    The convo will save my sanity tomorrow and maybe allow me to cry a little.
    I can’t even explain how... ugh... i don’t even know. I’m probably overreacting.

  • I have decided that I am not looking forward to this Europe trip at all.
    Sad.
    Unfortunate.
    I should’ve thought ahead.
    I much rather be at home, sleeping in, doing homework, and practicing for honor band.
    Seriously.
    I’m guessing New York + 8th grade - savior = Europe

  • I thought of something to write a minute ago, but I forgot what it was. Oh well.
    I’m still not excited for Europe and I’m leaving in like 3 days. It’ll be a life changing experience no doubt, but I just hope it goes okay. I don’t want a repeat of awkward New York or awkward 8th grade trip. Though the 8th grade trip has been the best experience of my life thus far. I would not have survived those 12 days without Melissa. Thank God for her.
    I think I might play the loner card and soak in everything at my own pace. I think I might need to be left alone to escape into my own head for a bit. I haven’t been able to do that lately.
    And I’m glad that that one something isn’t going to happen. It would’ve ruined my break for sure. Most definitely.
    I’ll survive.
    And when I get back, he’s going to ask me to prom, depending on how our date(s) go... if I ever get the courage to ask him. It’s been too long.

  • I will have great work ethics.
    My senior project will go well.
    I will be an honest person and a great friend.
    My mother will be financially stable this year.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine University and receive a sufficient amount of money from them for the 2008 fall semester.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate high school.
    I will receive exceptionally good grades at the end of my 12th grade year.
    I will be safe and have a wonderful Spring Break of ’08.
    I will recieve 5 acceptance letters over Spring Break.

  • won’t happen. It can’t. That would suck. It won’t happen. I don’t think it will anymore.

  • ice cream shakes and malts from Carl’s Jr. are bomb-diggity.
    ESPECIALLY the new Cap’n Crunch shake. It is delicious! It tasted like Cap’n Crunch! For reals, no lie.

  • How am I suppose to take care of business when my own family doesn’t? Who am I supposed to look up to?
    If I don’t have any money next week, it’s my dad’s fault. He was supposed to get me all situated two weeks ago, not 5 days until I leave. Ugh...
    And my mom, she’s been excellent about this trip, but there’s innumerable other things that she doesn’t take care of. But I won’t go there.
    I love them regardless. I just don’t want to grow up to be them... which is inevitable.

  • muy estupido.
    I should’ve started my homework days ago. I should’ve had the will power to stay away from Myspace. But no. I have a book report to write, flash cards to do, calculus to do, and physics to do. I have senioritis for sure. I don’t want to do anything except sit around.
    But in my defense, I did get a little bit of shopping done today for my trip.

    This week, someone needs to ask me to Prom. Spring Break is shot because I’m not going to be around. But who knows? Maybe some guy will go on the trip that I’ve never talked to before in my life and we’ll end up falling for each other, and he’ll ask me to Prom in Paris. How romantic. But no. Out of the 4 guys I want to go to Prom with, I think one of them might ask. Big might though. But we’d be adorable. End the year right. So if I don’t have a date by the time I get back from being Europeanized, I’ll start looking outside of Cal.

  • I should’ve went to Sonora like I wanted to. It would’ve been easier.
    Running away is a bitch move, but it’s easier. I could’ve avoided so much. But I would’ve missed Cal too much I think.
    Missing Cal or being able to start over without a facade, maybe missing Cal would’ve been worth it?
    It’s too late now. I’m almost done. I can last a few more months. Then maybe this facade can finally come down.

  • I will have great work ethics.
    My senior project will go well.
    I will be an honest person and a great friend.
    My mother will be financially stable this year.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine University and receive a sufficient amount of money from them for the 2008 fall semester.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate high school.
    I will receive exceptionally good grades at the end of my 12th grade year.

  • Today was really good. Long, but good.
    I spent pretty much the whole day with one of my partners in crime, Jerry, aka Vanessa =]
    It was needed and I appreciated it very much so.
    Club Condor was waaaaaaaaay beyond lame. Almost as lame as Sadies lol. So we split and got our grub on. Well, I got my grub on.
    The day began well and ended well. I can’t complain. I could about Club Condor, but I won’t.
    Just beware of the fog. It’ll get ya.

  • that Mary Had a Little Lamb could be so versitile? Still skeptical? Then you haven’t heard me or Eden sing it.
    Tonight’s concert was fun. Normally I’m bored out of my mind, but Eden and I had some good laughs... when we were supposed to be quiet and paying attention. That’s leadreship for ya.

  • for the tear drops on my guitar, the only one that keeps me wishin’ on a wishin’ star. He’s the song in the car I keep singing and don’t know why.
    Song of the day. For sure. Possibly song of the rest of the week. And it’s weird because last night I was thinking how I don’t like country music and don’t have any on my i-pod, and then here pops in this song. But it isn’t really country. More poppy. Though tears on a guitar does sound rather country.
    If I remember correctly, that song was the first slow song of the night at formal. Good times, good times.

  • was probably one of the best mornings at school I've ever had.
    I got to school waaaaaaaaaay to early considering I really didn't have to show up 'til 1:20, but it was totally worth it.
    I ate bagels and donuts and drank orange juice to my heart's content.
    I listened to cool jamz.
    I spun around.
    I basically finished my stuff I needed to do.
    I explored Rebecca's artistic talent.
    I stop, dropped, and rolled
    And I had a blast hanging out with the Pepino.
    Good times for sure.

    Tomorrow waking up waaaaaaaaaaay earlier than I have to doesn't seem so appealing.

  • Honor band practice was alright. My part isn't too different from first, so that's good. But I miss my part in Hounds of Spring. No biggy though. It's cool.

  • I'm all caught up on Quarterlife. New webisode on Thursday and another on Sunday. I'm glad I gave it another shot. I'm into it now. And Dylan and Erick are too cute. Dylan is totally cool. I want to say I'm kind of like her, but nah, I'm not. And her relationship with Erick is cute. I want a cute relationship like that. But I think I'll have to look outside of CHS for that one. There's only one guy I know that I'd like to get in a relationship with, and from what I'm told, I can do better. I suppose I can. So looking elsewhere it is. But again, a relationship isn't the best idea right now. I'm graduating soon, which means the relationship will most likely have a defined breakup date, which is no fun. So I'm thinking possible hook-ups are what's going down for the next several months. That's cool though. Just as long as I don't fall too hard too fast, or at all for that matter.
    And I signed up on a site that I'll start blogging on soon. Well, as soon as I graduate. That'll be my real one and this will be my filler. Or maybe I won't even bother writing two. No, one's fine. So Myspace blogs will be history.

  • I'm slow to catch on to things lol. I noticed that yesterday. I was slow to catch on to this one thing on Thursday and like a million things yesterday. Whatever. At least I caught on right?
    So last night was bomb! I spent the evening laughing it up with some of my bestest buds and I wouldn't have had it any other way. Most def worth a $20. Spending time with my friends is worth much more than $20, it's priceless, but admission to Knott's was worth a $20 lol. I was totally spent by the end of the night. And I'm glad everyone decided to go on Sidewinder with me. I was going to get on regardless, but I'm glad I didn't have to go on alone. The search for prom dates was unsuccessful, I still have no clue who I'm going with, but we did find some 7th grade studs At least they'll be studs when they get older. They we're kinda annoying after a while.
    And today was slow... like me. But that's okay. Maybe next weekend won't be so slow. Yes? I'll find something to do

  • I doubt I'll be on later, so this one will have to do.
    Tonight should be fun. I'm going with the football krew and we always have a good time when we're together. Even if one thinks she gets ganged up on... which she doesn't lol.
    Woo! Knott's!

  • I will have great work ethics.
    My senior project will go well.
    I will be an honest person and a great friend.
    My mother will be financially stable this year.
    I will be accepted into Pepperdine University and receive a sufficient amount of money from them for the 2008 fall semester.
    I will be in great mental and physical shape by the time I graduate high school.
    I will receive exceptionally good grades at the end of my 12th grade year.

  • Bienvenidos a sun wheel....
    I need to go to Disneyland. I haven't gone in forever. I'd like to go before Spring Break, but I doubt that'll happen. I'm going to Knott's Friday, so that'll have to do. At least I think I'm going lol.
    And I have a major headache going on right now. It isn't fun. It's probably a combo of being sick, stressed, and straining my eyes. I'll jump in the shower to relax in a few minutes. I need my sleep for my meet tomorrow. Oh shoot! I should've had pasta for dinner tonight. Oh well. Panda Express will have to do.

  • A few months ago I was complaining to one of my friends that there was no way I'd be able to be single this whole year. But now that I've made it until March, I don't think I'll have a problem going until the end of June. And then I'll probably go longer since I'll be starting college and won't know anyone, and I probably shouldn't get into a relationship next year anyway because I'll be busy. I'm busy now, so getting into a relationship probably isn't smart. And I'm okay with that. I don't need a boy to keep me happy. Of course it helps, and there's one in particular that I wish would see that he makes me happy, but it isn't necessary. I'm good.
    But there's no way in hell I'm flying solo at Prom. It's Prom. You're supposed to go with a date. Unfortunately, there's only one plausible guy at school I'd like to go with, and like 3 total out-there guys. But of course I have a back up in case I'm in dire need of a date. I just don't want to have to ask this time. And I'm afraid that I'll end up in a position like last year. A senior asked me, but I said no, and I ended up with no date and didn't go. What if somebody asks me, I say no, and I'm stuck with no date? That would suck big time. But I mean, if I don't want to go with them, I'm going to say no. I guess I'll pull a Mike Jones though if people are around, but I'll make sure to pull them aside and let them know asap... not 4 days later via text message.

  • I wore it for a while.

    I lasted a year. Who woulda thought? Not me, that's for sure.
    I normally bounce back real quick, but not this time. I still haven't found the right one. I thought I did, but it doesn't seem like that one's going to happen
    If I made it this long, what's a few more days, weeks, months? It's okay. When it happens it happens.
    My last relationship was the best one I've been in so far. It didn't last too long, but the bond I felt with him was real and sincere. Unfortunately I guess I was the only one that felt that way. I took the break up harder than I should've and did some stupid things in order to try and make myself feel less depressed. I've moved on since then and feel much better about the situation. It didn't work out for a reason. I can find someone better. I will find my prince charming, no matter what statistics say.

  • If I had things my way, I'd be done with my homework by now, I wouldn't be congested, I'd be set with a full ride to Pepperdine, and I'd be happy knowing I had the best boyfriend to spend time with tomorrow.
    But I don't have things my way. I still need to do two days of homework. I feel congested. I have yet to hear from anyone besides CSUF and CSULB. Tomorrow marks a year of being single.

  • Tonight was super fun. I normally hate the Spring Dinner, but this year's was dynomite! Fro sure! lol
    Rebecca, Peter, and I totally pulled off the 70's look and boogied the night away and had some laughs. And dinner with my two favorite girlies was outta sight too.
    And to top it off, my Cal Grant letter came, and it says I'll get about $9,708 from USC, Pepperdine, and Chapman. Good sign if you ask me.
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