Wednesday, October 31, 2007

October

  • halloween

    Halloween was a bust. It didn't feel much like Halloween and I could barely keep my eyes open during school. I was so tired! And I hadn't eaten since Monday afternoon, so as soon as I got home I ate... a lot. Then I went to sleep... til maybe 8. It was nice. Then I took a shower and then went home (because I was originally at my grandmother's house). So I've been home for a while and still have homework to start. I should be okay because I doubt I'll fall asleep anytime soon.

    And that talk was never had. I told them it was today or never, so it's dunzo. Too bad. My friends liked us.

  • My shoulder that is. Seriously. Probably the most painful it's ever been. Tonight's practice was murder on it. I'm glad this is my last season, because I cannot keep this up. I need to see a doctor about it... again.
    So we did not talk. We are talking tomorrow. If we do not talk tomorrow, than forget it. I'm making my own decision. I can't keep this up either.

  • We will talk tomorrow. And everything will be sorted out. Either good or bad, it will be sorted out. But i know it's going to be more difficult than it has to be. It's going to become more tangled. And I will probably be given dirty looks all night, or week, and recieve another threat or two. But it will be sorted out. Tomorrow. I hope.

  • I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back as you're lying there drifting off to sleep.

    Today was rather uneventful. I didn't get in 'til early this morning, so I slept in until 11 and I think I fell back asleep pretty soon after that 'til maybe 1. Then I fell asleep again around 4. Haha. So basically I just slept all day. And because of that, I will have a hard time falling asleep tonight. Whatever.

  • ...down between the goal posts! Hehe...
    I am so glad Cal won tonight. It would've been terrible had we lost. But I am spent beyond belief, so I am off to bed.
    Goodnight :]

  • Today did not bode well. I found out two bits of information that changed my perspective on everything, so now I don't know what I want. I can choose option one, which is perfect aside from one MAJOR issue, or option two, which is safe and know will work, well, that one has a major problem too. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with either choice, but I really don't know anymore. Why can't things be the way you hope they should be?

  • I am bound to burst. I am brimmed to the top with emotion. I need to confide in someone. But unfortunately, I really have no one to confide in. Trust issues.

  • Where do i begin on how tonight was? So many things were going on. It was extremely overwhelming. Hanging out with Adrian was GREAT, and have Daniel hover over us and tell me I looked pretty made it disturbingly better. And he wants to talk tomorrow. Maybe he still likes me? And then Kimi gives me an apology/explanation via text message. That's not how it works. But she doesn't want to talk until Friday. Obviously she doesn't want to fix our friendship as bad as she says or else we'd talk asap. THEN Aaron sends me a text saying sorry for being a jerk. It was overdue and greatly appreciated. So we're going to try and rebuild our friendship :]

  • Today was not my day. I had to pay for an ugly shirt that has my name misspelled on the back, I couldn't breath, I didn't get the explaination I was hoping for (and now can care less if I get one), and was totally messing up during practice. I did however, have wonderful laughs with Pepino during practice :]
    And 'tis official. I am in like The situation is kinda weird, but it doesn't matter. Itshouldn't matter.

  • I want to be open with people, I do. But how can I? Apparently I can't trust anyone, so why should i be willing to let them in on who I am? I screwed up a wonderful friendship and only made it worse by buying into what i thought was true. It's my fault though. I should know better. Show me I can trust you and maybe I'll let you in.

  • 'tis official. I am in like with a freshman. Totally. I smile just thinking about him. I'm still apprehensive about what people will think, but whatever. I like him.

  • Today was long. The fieldshow was okay aside from my shoulder hurting like a mofo, lol. I'm just waiting for SNL to start. Hopefully something good is on for a time filler. Or maybe I'll just listen to my i-pod. Idk yet.
    Tomorrow should be fun...

  • Tonight was yet again fun filled. I love friday nights. No football game this time, but I think going out to a movie is better than hanging out with Mr. Chompers. Though I do love that fat old guy. "Eat 'em up! Eat 'em up! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp!" Yes, tonight was indeed great. And I tried a crepe for the first time, so I am totally set for France. Now I just need to brush up on my Spanish and I'm good.

  • So adrian really is perfect aside that he's a freshman. I haven't talked to him a whole lot, but from what I can see, we were made for each other, there was just a mix up in time I guess. Why can't he be older? But we're going out tomorrow and i'm pretty excited. I don't expect anything to happen, though it'd be nice, except for some nice one on one time. Get to know each other better. Maybe more...

  • Herc was on a roll!
    Lip sync was awesome! Wonderful experience. Especially since we won 50 bucks! And SCC won a pizza party! Woo!

  • Zero Period: orchestra
    School: was a drag
    After school: Lip Sync practice/ got ready for band practice
    5-9: Band practice
    9-9:45ish: Leadership Meeting
    10:15ish-now: Ate, did homework, surfed

  • Today was really pretty with all of the clouds and everything, but it didn't have to be so cold. And this morning was beautiful. I love it when i leave for school when it's still dark outside and the sun is barely starting to rise. It's the best :]

  • Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions.
    Let's go back to the start.
    Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part.
    Take me back to the start.
    I'm running in circles, chasing my tail.
    Please take me back to the start.

  • today was mucho fun! probabLy the most fun i've had in a whiLe. downtown disney con mis amigas was a bLast. and resident eviL... SO GOOD! omg, so good! i must see the others! woo! today... geez...

  • another fun friday night! footbaLL, friends, and food, what more can you ask for? and those choLos were pretty cooL too ;]

  • off to dreamy land...

  • Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
    ... I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and that I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.
    I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's realling nothing, nothing of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what i'm saying. Please listen caefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, i need to say but i can't say. I dislike the hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing.
    I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous, and me; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing i seem to want or need. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breath life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. But love is stronger than those strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands.

  • tonight didn't end weLL. i said stuff i shouLdn't have and now i feeL pretty bad. and i reaLLy can't make it up for a whiLe. but that's normaL, aLways messing things up. just when things were starting to look up for me. it's aLright.
    and i taLked to an oLd friend via aim tonight too. unexpected, but it was nice. he's a nice guy.

  • do i reaLLy want to try something with adrian? he's just a freshman. i think i'm capabLe of finding someone better than a freshman. but he seems perfect. i reaLLy want to date a senior though...

  • i wiLL be done with my homework by 12:30. my report will be done by 12, 12:15 at the latest. and i wiLL finish my brag sheet immediateLy after i finish my report.
    i don't like staying up late to do homework :[

  • ...days tiL europe!

  • tonight was a bLast! the game was great, tania won, so that was great, the dance was fun, and the ride to norm's was fun too! first and last homecoming went pretty weLL.

  • things are finaLLy starting to look up for me i think. today went pretty weLL aside from finding out my phone has pretty much no purpose anymore. but that wiLL change around 8 pm tomorrow hopefuLLy... maybe sooner.
    so i got approved for my senior project. big relief. i'm reaLLy looking forward to starting on it. and i got a date for homecoming finaLLy. loL. woo!

  • dave reaLLy knows how to put things into perspective. i'm reaLLy going to miss going to cLa and having him visit and do his littLe seminars :[

  • as aLways, the meLLos kicked major butt tonight. that's just how we do it. there is no doubt that the meLLos are the most fun and best performing section, even though we're on the smaLL side. they make my job so much easier :]

  • today feLt reaLLy long. schooL seemed to drag on forever. waiting to get picked up seemed like an eternity. but shopping was fun and productive. i am aLL set for homecoming except for the date and a ticket part. hopefuLLy tickets aren't soLd out by the time i buy mine tomorrow cuz i'LL be pissed. i was feeLing pretty wishy-washy on whether i wanted to go or not, but i mean, it's senior year. i shouLd go to everything this year. even if it means i have to fLy soLo.
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)