February 28

I woke up at 8 this morning to no missed calls, so I figured it'd be safe to shower and then come back to Malibu. As soon as I got out of the shower, my dad calls telling me to meet him at the mechanic's so I could get my air conditioning looked at since it hadn't been working for over a year now. I met my dad at the mechanic's around 9:45 and then spent the rest of the morning and much of the early afternoon just lounging around at his house while he went to a Dr.'s appointment, which I should've asked about now that I think about it, and then was on business related phone calls until 3. We finally went to pick up my car and then talked about school on the way there. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but he's pretty set on the idea that I'm going to get my Master's right away and I'm pretty sure I don't want one at all. But we'll see. If I get set up with a job that pays for me to get one, then I'll for sure get one.

I picked up my car and was on the road with a working AC by 3:45. I got home around 5, unwound a little bit, and then Katy and I took off to dinner pretty soon after she got home. I had asked Erin if she wanted to go, but never really got a straight answer from her. Katy and I caught up in the car and then grabbed some drinks as we waited to be seated at Benihana. I felt like a big kid and I loved it. I like feeling like a big kid. Dinner was fun and delicious, only I got way too full way too fast.

The ride home from dinner was good too and we made a pit stop at Ralphs for some vitamins, lightbulbs, and some chocolate for s'mores. AJ came over for a few hours and we chatted, had big kid hot chocolate, and made s'mores by the fire. Cute. And now Katy and I are watching Whip It.

February 27

I was able to sleep in and then my mom and I went to my grandparents' for lunch. My grandma made me chicken soup, so that was really nice. I felt like we didn't stay long, but not as short of a visit as my uncle's, and then we were off running errands. My mom and I spent the rest of the evening watching the Oscar's, eating, and relaxing.

February 26

I woke up feeling better, but I was still a little iffy about whether or not I wanted to drive home. I sucked it up, got ready, and was at my dad's around 1:30. He had picked me up some stuff from the Kogi Taco Truck. Weird, but really good. I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on the couch.

The rest of the evening consisted of a bowling party for my sister's last soccer team. It was a little boring and awkward, but not terrible.

I got home close to 11 and spent the rest of the night watching tv with my mom.

February 25

I woke up feeling worse than yesterday and I got ready for work way too fast. I ate and then headed off to work. I was miserable. I was weak and lethargic and had Yeltsin not sent me home early, I think things would've been bad. I crashed when I got home, ate, crashed again, and then caught up on TV. I think each time I've woken up today, I've felt a little bit better. That's good.

February 24

Katy woke me up and then we got ready for school and carpooled in. I didn't wake up feeling too well and I gradually got worse as the day went on. I took a nap after Katy and I got home and I intended on going to class, but it just wasn't going to happen. I stuck around and watched Katy and Brittni choreograph our new song and then went to Songfest. I was a little worried that me getting sick was going to be an issue, but I was fine and it was fun. I'm really glad I'm doing Songfest with Katy. I'm just bummed that she isn't in it.

February 23

I woke up to go to practice, but nobody else did, so after a half hour tutting session I went to the gym. Convo was just some man yelling at us, so that kinda sucked. I came home, got ready for school and studied for my midterm before going to the counseling center. That went well. My midterm went well too. As soon as I finished my midterm I spent the next few hours working on my art project and then went to Songfest. Songfest was fun as usual, but then I stayed at school until close to two in order to finish my project.

February 22

I woke up to the sound of stucco being sandblasted off walls at 8, so that sucked. And I thought I had lots of time before work at noon, but getting ready took longer than expected. I got to work on time though. Work was really fun as soon as Amariah left.

After work I went to Duke's with Jordan and had margaritas and fish tacos and then went back to her place to bake cookies.

Songfest was fun, but we were learning how to tut, so that was confusing, but I think, no, I know it'll be awesome. I have complete faith in Katy.

February 21

I slept in a tad just because I was so damn tired and because I was too sore to actually get out of bed. When I finally did, it was only to get the books I needed to read. I hopped back into bed, read for COM, got ready for the day, and then Scout and I took a drive so Mike G. could show the house. We parked by the beach and I kinda took a nap and then we went back at noon.

I still had a paper to write and 186 to read, so I kind of had a mini meltdown because I was stressed and was thinking about stuff I shouldn't have been thinking about. But whatever. I didn't go to graphics, I got my paper done, and then I went to COM. I really like that class. I think I only like it because my professor is real chill, but I guess it's kind of interesting.

I came home to find Katy choreographing with Brittni and Alex and I went upstairs and crashed. Hard. It was needed though.

I was still super sore and tired when I got to songfest, but it was really fun and Katy's doing a great job with everything.

So. Much. Fun.

February 20

The lacrosse tournament was so much fun. Our team is ultra scrappy and we were tired, but we pulled it together and played well. We lost, but it was good.

I came home and tried real hard no to fall asleep, and then went to songfest.

I had homework to do, but I was too tired to do it, so I went to bed instead.

February 19

l'm posting now since Jordan has my charger and I'm guessing my computer won't make it til midnight.

This morning went well. I went to Lilys with Josh and Erin. Then I packed up Scout and drove her around while Mike G showed the house. When I got back, Erin and Josh were cuddled on the couch and Chris and Katy had just gone upstairs. I couldn't go upstairs and I couldn't stay downstairs, so I left. I drove around, spent money I didn't have, and then went to school to do some studying. Only nothing got done.

Now I'm home.

Hopefully songfest makes up for it.

February 18

I woke up to go see Erin sing at convo and then I came back and napped for a while.

I literally don't remember what I else I did until practice at 7. It was so much fun. Katy's already doing a great job. I went and watched the last bit of the Coffeehouse after practice and then went for a drive to get some In N Out. Great choice. It took me a while to fall asleep since I was so amped from Songfest, but it was okay.

February 17

Katy and I carpooled this morning, since that's kind of what we do on Thursdays now, and I got a quarter way through my art project in class, so that was nice. I don't think it'll be as hard as I thought it was going to be. Lunch with Erin went well too and I got my law homework done. We had guest speakers in graphics, which was insightful, but I don't think it was all that necessary. After class, Katy and I came home, I ate, she started songfesting with Alex, and then I went to class which got out early so I came back home. I was really silly for some reason, I think it was the bearclaw mixed with the excitement of Songfest, and then Katy and I carpooled to school for songfest. I'm a traitor. I'm doing it with ATO and Tri-Delt. I was going to do it with HOT if I couldn't do it with Katy, but I can, so I am. I'm excited about it. Katy had extra stuff to do after the rehearsal, so I waited, but it wasn't a big deal at all. I was still silly, but this time it was because I was so tired.

February 16

I had practice this morning, but it was raining, so it wasn't really practice since we just went to the weight room. I haven't done anything physical in a while, so I betting I'll be pretty sore tomorrow. But the gym felt so good. I loved it. I had some time to kill before convo so I stopped by Starbucks to get Katy and I some drinks and then met up with Katy at convo. It was actually pretty good.

I was supposed to table for LSA, but there was no table and I didn't receive any instructions, so I came home to shower before going back to school to meet my therapist. Or counselor. Or whatever I'm supposed to call him. The meeting went much better than last week's intake meeting and I felt pretty comfortable talking to this guy. Dave.

After my meeting I should've done homework, but I went to the library and watched Chuck before class instead. That's okay. I just haven't felt real productive lately. Class went okay and I went to pick up some dinner from Thai Dishes to bring home to Katy. That went over well I think. I was hoping maybe we could go out to dinner somewhere, but eating at home was fine with me.

We went to ICC, which was fine, but I couldn't help but feel out of place afterwards. Katy was talking with Alyssa, Zane, and Isabela for a while, and I was just kind of there. It was my fault I suppose since I chose carpool. After we got home, Katy went over to Alex's with Brittni to talk about Songfest and I should've been doing homework again, but I was just surfing around online, listening to music, and thinking about Daniel and my counseling session until Katy came home around 11:45.

February 15

I got to sleep in a little bit, but not too too much since I had to be at work at 11. Work wasn't so bad, except I was working with Amariah for the first few hours and it's always awkward working with her. It wasn't terrible though. It was painfully slow in the beginning, but then right as I was supposed to take my lunch, things got really busy, but Yeltsin and Johnny handled, so it was no big deal. Things were nice and steady for the rest of my shift and I was able to come home and shower and thought about taking a nap, but Erin was home, so I went and talked to her instead. That was a good plan. And then we watched Glee, and then Hellcats, which was random, and then she went and did homework like a good kid while I watched Parenthood. It was absolutely lovely. I loved it. And then Katy and I caught up when she got home and that was lovely too.

Valentine's Day

I remember last year I was pretty mopey by the end of the day, mostly because we went to go see Valentine's Day. It was much more like Single Awareness Day. This year, not so bad.

We made Valentine's in art, I had lunch with Erin, nothing was accomplished in graphics, and COM was kind of boring today. When I got home, I thought about taking a nap, but opted for laundry and TLC instead. I was hoping Erin and I could do something when she got home since Katy was gone visiting Chris, but she disappeared into her room with her dinner and when I was about to suggest we watch a movie, she said Josh was coming over.

So I spent the rest of the evening with laundry and I caught up on Thursday's shows.

February 13

So Daniel and I ended up watching a movie last night. And we ended up cuddling. And we ended up kissing. And we ended up fooling around. And then I knew things were going to go too far if I stayed down there, so I went to bed upstairs. Erin and Katy both came home around 2.

I got my reading done when I woke up, but Daniel wasn't ready to go until around 11. We went to Lilys for breakfast and then we spent the rest of the day finishing up our Mummy marathon.

We kissed again. I don't know what's going on with that one.

I spent the rest of the day working on my poster for graphics and I was kind of being silly with Katy, so that was nice. I feel like we hadn't done that in a while and it made me really happy.

I think I might get ready for bed. Or actually, I'm going to shower and then go to bed. Yes. That one.

February 12

I got to sleep in a little bit today and then headed over to the pool to do some reading after Katy left to go have brunch with her DIF friends. Erin came and joined me when she got home, so that was nice. Daniel was supposed to get here between 4 and 5, but that didn't happen, so I left him since I was supposed to be at school at 6.

Daniel and Erin met me at the game, we lost, we went to Mal-Yo, went to Subway, and then Daniel and I made a pit stop for milk and gas before coming home.

Erin was nowhere to be found and Katy made a last minute decision to go line dancing. I'm kind of jealous of her new friends, but I'm mostly bummed that we aren't spending any time together when I'm trying to fix things. I can't fix things if she's not around for me to fix them.

February 11

So last night, as I was literally getting into bed, Octavio calls and tells me I need to get a poster done that night. I should've fought him on it, but I didn't. Instead, I got mad and stormed out. Katy was texting me about it later though, and that calmed me down an awful lot. I got the poster done and was in bed right around 5.

I didn't wake up in time for convo, which I think will result in problems later, and I spent the whole day sleeping and surfing around on the computer. I was planning on going to PIT with Katy, but ended up going to the store meeting instead. It went way longer than I was expecting it to and it was awkward and fun at the same time. It was fun because of the people I was sitting with, but awkward because the table was so distinctly divided. I was hoping Katy and I would go out for a Diddy Riese run when I got home, but she wasn't up for adventuring. I really wasn't either actually. I was pretty tired.

February 10

I crashed hard last night and didn't want to wake up. Katy and I carpooled to school, I went to art, and then I went to the counseling center. It was definitely an emotional visit. I'm really tired of crying so much lately. I had lunch with Erin after and then chose to go to the library instead of class because I would've been doing the same thing in class anyway. I then hung out with Erin in the Sandbar for a little bit and then sat with her while she ate dinner. Back to the library I went since my MSCO class was cancelled and I caught up on some TV. I went to Psi U Think You Can Dance, but I didn't have as much fun as I was hoping. And I got a weird vibe from Katy who left early with Chris, leaving me to rely on Erin for a ride, which wasn't a problem. We got home kinda late, and Katy and Chris were asleep on the couch, and I offered to switch with them, but they declined. They're still asleep. Katy said Chris is going home, but I bet he'll end up staying.

February 9

I was still buzzed when I woke up for practice, so I knew that wasn't going to go well. But I was fine once convo ended. I would've napped when I got home just because I was so tired and hungover, but I had a presentation to prepare for. I think it went well.

After class I drove around for a bit and then had lunch with Erin. I was hoping it would be just us, but Josh came too. No problem. After an LSA meeting, I opted for home instead of the library since dessert and drinks with Jordan and Caroline was postponed, only I didn't get any homework done until late. Whoops. I should've known.

February 8

So I woke up and made my way to Bergamot Station, but I was totally not feeling it when I got there. It was big and confusing and I was a little mad at myself for going alone. I got out of my car, walked around for a second, and then got back in my car with every intent of going home. Fortunately and unfortunately, I couldn't find the freeway entrance, so I doubled back to Bergamot Station. I went into 2 galleries but still wasn't feeling it, so I went home.

I had work at 4 which was okay, only I was stressing because I was going to Jordan's birthday party later. Fortunately, Yeltsin let me go home early so I rushed back home, changed and then headed to Jordan's.

As soon as I got there I was offered two shots of Jack and a vodka and Redbull. I was drunk within the first half hour. Meeting Jordan's friends and barhopping was so much fun and I'm really glad I decided to go. It definitely made up for my birthday.

We got back to Jordan's, I ate some pizza, and then was asleep around 4.

February 7

Today wasn't so bad, I was just kinda mopey.

And I made an appointment with the counseling center for Thursday.

I came home after school, chit chatted with Katy, and then went to work. I literally did dishes for 3 hours. And Tim called me out on my mopiness. I needed that.

I came home, was conned into rsvping to Jordan's surprise party and now I'm about to get ready for bed. I'm supposed to talk to Erin and Katy, but we'll see if that happens.

February 6

I got back home from Jordan's around 9, Katy got home around 10, and idk when Erin got home. Katy was sleeping until 1 left for the library at 1:30, only I didn't get anything done.

I came home and tried to sleep, but Erin was being kinda confrontational via text, so that didn't work.

I went back to the library and got my reading done, came back home to eat, and then we had a family meeting when Erin got home.

Basically I need to get my shit together or they're abandoning me. So I need to get my shit together asap. I love them too much to just let them walk away. I need to fight for them.

Birthday

I didn't get to bed when I wanted, but I still got to sleep in a little bit. I was afraid that wasn't going to happen since we were going to breakfast, but it worked out. We ended up going to Paradise Cove and I had my first legal drink. A mimosa. I opened presents, we ate, and then Katy and Tess went to school and Erin and I came home.

I left pretty soon after we got home to get gas and get my car washed. I ended up going to Forever 21 to get a blazer too. And then I found out that Katy was going to a club that night with her DIF friends and Erin was going to a party with her BA friends. That bummed me out a little bit and I cried. I know I told them I didn't want to go out and do anything after DIF, but I would've loved to have just hung out at home with them. We never spend time together. I stopped by work to get my paycheck, couldn't get the drink I wanted, and then went to the bank. The ATM told me happy birthday, so that was nice.

I came home, napped, surfed around on the computer, and then Erin and I set out. We stopped to get gas and then made our way to In N Out. Delicious, but we were really short on time, so I scarfed my burger down more quickly than usual. We ended up behind someone going really slow through the canyon, so we were stressing out that we werent going to make it to DIF on time. We did. Only because we ran through the parking lot.

As expected, DIF was amazing and Katy was phenomenal. I started getting a little teary after the show again because Erin kept talking about how she and Katy were going out that night. It was my 21st birthday. I should be the one going out. My birthday just falls on a really inconvenient day. It sucks. For the past 3 years it's sucked.

Erin drove me home and left pretty soon after that. I left right after she did and sobbed my way through Kanan and Malibu and ended up at Jordans. I was really sad when I got there and all shakey, but after 4 mini bottles of champagne and some Say Yes to the Dress, I was fine.

Shitty birthday, but at least I got drunk.

Who leaves their best friend alone on their birthday? On their 21st birthday?

February 4

I thought about going to convo, but opted for sleeping in a little bit instead. I headed for home around 11, the time I was going to leave had I went to convo, and got to my grandparents house around 12. Lunch was wonderful. Curry and tortillas. We sat around and chatted for a bit and then my mom and I went to pick up some couch cushions and then went home so I could see the animals. I missed them. Then we set off and ran different errands and I got some things that I needed. We ended up back at my grandparents' house and ate dessert. So. Much. Pie. Cookies. Brownies. It was great. My mom and I ended up leaving around 7, but she went out in search of a TV and I went back home to Malibu. Traffic on the freeway wasn't too bad, but PCH sucked. I was in bumper to bumper traffic for over 45 minutes because of a DUI checkpoint. I made a quick stop at Pavilions for Erin and then came home. I was hoping to do the whole drink at midnight thing, but I was tired, so I was in bed by 10:30. Katy, Tess, Isabela, and Chris came home soon after that and were loud, so I ended up staying awake until 2. I cried myself to sleep.

February 2-3

So yesterday was great until the evening. I broke down and I couldn't do my paper.

I woke up early and got my paper done by 12 and still ended up having lunch with Erin. Just for an hour though. Erin was talking to boys for the first hour. Graphics was dumb. I came home and kinda napped for a while and then I went up to Pavilions to get some flowers and then I went to Law. That class is dumb.

And then DIF was great! Oh my goodness. Fantastic. Hella jealz.

February 1

I woke up.

I went to Macys.

I got a new chain for my necklace.

I got 2 tickets to see DIF on Thursday.

I paid my rent.

I came home and slept.

I went to work where Cynthia annoyed the hell out of me.

I came home.

I talked to my mom.

I read.