January 31

I'm not feeling so hot, so this is going to be short and sweet.

I took Katy to school this morning and had a productive time in art and then a swell lunch with Erin, complete with a Peter sighting. Graphics wasn't very productive and we have a big assignment due Thursday, but whatever. COM was good, I came home and scarfed down some food, and then I went to work. My shift flew by, except I wasn't feeling too well the entire time. And I still feel gross. I'm going to bed.

January 30

I AM IN SUCH A GOOD MOOD RIGHT NOW.

i tried to do homework this morning.

i went to work early.

work was slow.

cynthia kinda bugged me.

i chatted with erin.

and now im blogging.

im going to take a shower and go to bed.

January 29

My day pretty much started with work. Apparently it had been busy for the previous 3 hours, I got in at 10, and it showed no signs of slowing down. But it did. But Pari and I were left alone for the majority of the time again. That isn't cool. And I was supposed to have a meeting, but Amariah didn't give me a lunch, so I couldn't stay. Bummer. Not.

I got home around 3, helped Katy print out her DIF transfers, ate, showered, and then crashed until 7. By that time, Katy had gone to Chris's and Erin was back from wherever she was.

I spent the rest of the evening eating, surfing, and that's pretty much it.

January 28

I woke up and went to celebration chapel, my first convo credit of the year, and then stopped by CVS and Target to get Katy some iron-on transfers that we worked on tonight, but they failed. I ended up sleeping when I got home until I went to work, which actually went by pretty quick. I was going to stick around and smoke with Hady and Tim, but decided against it. Trying to help Katy out was better.

I'm awfully cold and really should get in the shower, so I think I might do that.

January 27

Cheating.

I was at school ALL day.

No classes.

But it was okay.

I saw Peter. We hugged.

I ran errands with Katy and Tess.

Katy and I were silly.

January 26

I'm kinda cheating on this one.

Took Scout to the vet.

Realized I forgot the directions to the field trip for my art class.

Went to Starbucks.

Came home.

Ran some errands with Katy and Tess.

Chillaxed at home.

Brought Scout home.

Went to class.

Came home.

Vegged on the computer for the rest of the night.

January 25

Today was kind of a waste of a day. I did absolutely nothing besides sit on my bed on the computer all day. Katy was at her internship and at work, Erin was doing yoga and other stuff, and Tess was stuck here all day too. Way exciting day.

It would've been okay had I not made a remark about Katy knowing me well. That kind of ruined it. She said she doesn't know me well. And although I think she knows me better than anyone else, she's right. She doesn't really know me. And it's stupid that that's the case. I hate it.

January 24

Pretending to have class at 8 didn't work. I left at 8, but my fine parking skills allowed me to get a prime spot. I finished up my next art project during class, so that was cool. And I ended up buying Erin lunch because she forgot her wallet. Pricey, but that's okay. I like her. Graphics was dumb because the professor was gone and we watched a movie that was painful to sit through. Like, I was having a really hard time watching it. COM was hard to sit through too. And Sloan called me out on it too. It was funny, but embarrassing. I came home for a quick sec and then went to work. I was expecting it to be boring since I was closing with Rob and Amber, but it was actually really fun. We were being silly an it was great.

And that's pretty much it.

January 23

This morning was fine, but then it got weird after that. Katy could tell that I wasn't happy when I gave her her costumes this afternoon when I was at school working on my art homework. Starting over really put a damper on things. I wasted so much time last night. And I probably could've just fixed it, but I went into catastrophe mode and needed to start over. I ventured out to sbux and then came back to do real homework until a little after 10. I read for art and I finished my cards. I thought about getting food, but ultimately just drove and sat in my car before coming home. I haven't been in the best mood all week and I'm not in a good mood now. I don't want Katy to ask me about it, but at the same time, I want her to.

January 22

It's early, but I'm tired and might go to bed soon.

So I told Katy that I had a mini meltdown while she was gone, but I didn't tell her what it was about. She asked, multiple times, but I never told her.

Work was rough this morning. The open with Amber went well, but after that it sucked. Pari and I were by ourselves for way too long, she didn't get a break until way late, and I was supposed to be done all 10, but stayed until noon. I needed that hours, but I shouldn't have had to stay. Amariah can't manage her employees.

My plan was to shower, take a nap until 1, and then spend the day at school. I ended up napping until 2, showering, and then headed out to school around 4. I was working on my art homework, and catching up on tv, but then I realized I was doing it wrong, so I started over... when I was close to being done doing it the wrong way. I got halfway done doing it the right way and then headed down to the basketball game to see Katy, but she said I didn't need to go, so I didn't. I think it's the first game I've missed that she's danced at halftime. I wasn't in a good mood at that point, so I came home to surf around online and to eat.

Tess came home and then Katy came home minutes later, and she's been upstairs talking to Erin ever since. So. Jealous.

I might have another mini-meltdown tonight. We'll see.

January 21

I had another mini meltdown last night and ended up crying myself to sleep. It was unfortunate and I wanted to tell Katy when it happened, but I didn't want to interrupt anything. I didn't even tell her goodnight.

I was planning on going to chapel this morning, but Scout was all cuddly and I had too much planned out for the day. I woke and and got ready, cleaned the house, went to pick up my check, went to FedEx, went to the bank, made a pit stop at Petco, returned my jacket, went to PetSmart, went to Target, and then came home. And I cried on my way home, but it wasn't as bad as last night. Things were a little weird at home and I was planning on going to the Film Fest at school, but I changed my mind about going alone. So I didn't go. I did a little bit of homework and then went to go see The Green Hornet by my lonesome. Erin was nowhere to be found when I got home, but Katy had just gotten home from dance. We haven't talked in days and I don't think we're going to get a chance to catch up for another 4 or 5 weeks.

I might mention my mini meltdown, but I might not. I'm going to want to talk about it, but I'm tired and I probably won't be able to talk about it.

January 20

The first hour of class this morning was pretty boring, but the rest of it was fun. We just painted stuff.

Lunch with Erin was good, but she didn't buy, so that sucked, but whatever.

Graphics was kind of frustrating because I wanted to work on my laptop but wasn't allowed to.

Homework with Jordan went better than expected and I think I'll be able to do the homework on my own from now on.

Class was super long, but I made it through.

I came home a little before 10, briefly caught up with Erin and then surfed around before my mind started racing.

I really wanted this year, this semester, to be the start of something really good between Katy and I. But lately, we haven't been talking and I've been running away. And these next few weeks are only going to get worse I'm afraid. And it's all going to culminate on my birthday, which is unfortunate.

Bummer.

January 19

I haven't been really writing all that well for the past few days, so I'm going to try and write like I mean it this time.

First off, after I went to bed last night, I was still in a shitty mood, so I ended up going for a drive for about an hour. I was texting Katy pretty much the whole time, but it didn't really help. Talking would've helped, but I ran away instead.

I didn't really want to get out of bed for practice, but it was the first one, and I like being active, so I sucked it up and went. Turns out there was a commercial shoot out on Alumni, so we needed to use the little field out by the tennis pavillion. It was rough, but I'm really glad I went.

I would've gone to convo after practice, but I had a meeting that ended up being kind of pointless. I came home, showered, tried to do homework, napped for a sec, and then set out for school. I stopped by sbux real quick and then took Katy a drink, so that was nice. Class went well and my theory presentation went well too I think. I stayed up at the CCB for a bit to do some terms for my art class and then went to Subway to get some dinner. I went back up to the CCB and I should've done more homework, but I didn't.

And ICC wasn't anything special. Although we did get t-shirts. That was cool.

I was in a silly mood when I got home, so reading for class was the last thing on my mind. I did it though. And then I took out the trash and then I did some dishes.

I was hoping Katy and I could catch up when she got home, but she texted saying she wasn't in the best mood, so there went that idea. And she said she's going to Chris's tomorrow, so I won't see her until sometime Friday. That's okay though. I'll survive.

I think I'm going to get ready for bed.

January 18

I slept in and surfed around looking for internships when I should've been doing homework. I ended up setting out for the mall, which was a huge bust, but the stopping by Zuma to watch the sun set was a nice little treat. I stopped by Pavillions, chatted with Erin for a bit, and then bought some stuff online before making myself some dinner. I read, Katy came home, and then I started watching Parenthood. Erin and Katy were talking for almost an hour downstairs and then continued to do so upstairs. I can't talk to anyone for that long and hearing how effortless their conversations are just sends me in a downward spiral. I wish I could have those conversations. So much. It makes me so sad.

January 17

Slept in.

Went to the beach with Devyn.

Wanted to go shopping with Erin.

Sat in traffic.

Thought about stuff that put me in a bad mood.

Shopped.

Got my charger.

Came home.

Surfed and read.

Went to bed.

January 16

I didn't get out of bed until around 11 and I didn't get out of my pajamas until close to 3. I sat around on my computer all afternoon, surfing and doing homework, until the battery died and I found out my charger had also died. Yeltsin asked me to come in early, which was only 20 minutes, and I spent the first hour and a half doing dishes in the back. It was super busy for a while, but it started to calm down around 7 and we were able to get a lot of extra stuff done.

I was home by 11, sketched up some stuff, and then went to bed.

January 15

I was asleep for about an hour, but then I woke up because it was really hot and I heard Katy and Erin talking up a storm. I always get discouraged when I hear their conversations. I don't have conversations like that with anyone. So then I started to think about my relationships with certain people, so I started reading to keep my mind off of that. Katy went to bed pretty soon after, but I ended up going downstairs. It was hot in my bed and it was cooler on the couch, so that's where I went. Katy and I were texting about us not talking so much this week until around 1:30, and I think I finally fell asleep around 2.

Work wasn't too bad. I always find that my long days, especially when I'm opening, go by pretty quickly. And of course Is stayed late, but I didn't stay all that late, so it wasn't a huge deal.

I came home, showered, and then met Erin out by the pool. It was gorgeous out, so the pool was perfect. I was supposed to nap, and was kind of in that half asleep place, but then Katy joined us and I was awake until we all decided it was time to go home. Katy and I ended up napping, whoops, and then after everyone was ready, we went out to dinner at BJs. Yum.

We got home a little before 10, Erin went over to Josh's, I helped edit a picture for Katy, and Katy got all her ish ready for dance. And I think I'm going to get ready for bed soon. And I might try and get caught up with Katy. We'll see.

January 14

Scout's in heat and it's sad. She's yowling and rolling all over the place and it sounds like she's crying. And I bet she's uber confused.

Erin and I went to Disneyland today, but before we did, we stopped to get gas and stopped by sbux. We finally made it to Disneyland around 1 and did Disney first, and then hopped over to CA Adventure. We did most of the good rides at Disney, but only played the Midway Games across the way. I would've loved to have gone on Screamin' and Tower of Terror, and all the other stuff for that matter, but no way was Erin gonna go on those and we were both pretty tired. We saw Jordan for a bit too, so that was nice.

We left early, stopped by In N Out on the way home, and were back by 9.

January 13

Art was good.

Lunch with Erin was yummy.

Graphics was kind of pointless.

I looked up internships on my break.

Law was hard. But I'll get it. It'll be good.

I'm really tired and don't feel all that great, so I'm gonna go to bed.

January 12

What a day.

I woke up and left early to go pick up Lauren, but traffic was bad, so I think I was a little late. And traffic coming home wasn't the greatest either. We got back around 10 and sat around until Katy got home and then went out to Lily's and then Mal-Yo. I had to get some stuff for my art class, so I went through the canyon to Graphaids to pick that stuff up.

I then went to class, which was fun, and then came home to Katy and Lauren. We ended up having pizza and margaritas, silly, making puppy chow, taking the tree out, and then I did some homework and watched Parenthood with Lauren while Katy was at dance.

1/11/11

Still not as cool as 11/11/11 will be.

I woke up around 7:15 and was surprised to see that Katy was already gone. I texted her saying to have a great first day at her internship, which I unfortunately didn't get to hear about, and she told me to go back to sleep. So I did. For about another 2 hours. I got ready and went to my doctor's appointment, which was apparently for next Wednesday, but I was able to see a different doctor. I got done what I needed to get done, found out I had a heart murmur, and then came home. I should've napped, but I didn't. I sat around and was cold instead.

I had work at 3, which was a little weird at first, it took me a while to get into the swing of things, but then it calmed down and I was able to do my job and get extra stuff done. I closed with Rob and Tim which was fun since working with Tim is always fun and I had never worked with Rob before. Tim had extra stuff to do, so we got out a little late, but that's okay.

I showered when I got home then decided to read for class, but ultimately only read half because I figured I'd have time tomorrow. And it was kind of a lot.

January 10

First day of school!

Katy and I both woke up at 7 to get ready for school this morning, except she had class at 8 and I had class at 8:30. I meant to go to Starbucks before class, but I was too busy primping and ended up getting to class a minute or two late. There was no parking. After introductory stuff, we got out early and I was able to meet up with Katy for a bit. She has a break between 10 and 12 and I have a break between 12 and 2, so we probably won't always get to spend that time together, but it worked out today. After Katy went to class, Erin got out of hers and met up with me for lunch. We decided that since we both have breaks on Mondays and Thursdays between 12 and 2, we'll have bi-weekly lunch dates.

Graphics went well, as I thought it would, and I was a little skeptical about COM, but I really like the professor, so now I'm excited. I came home, gave Katy her present, set up the Wii, and then surfed around and tried to keep warm.

January 9

Sleeping in was fantastic and Erin came to cuddle as Katy was getting ready for dance, so that was cute. Erin and I talked for a little bit and then she went out shopping and I sat around on the computer until a little after 3, at which point Katy had been home for a while and Erin came back from her shopping trip.

I left for Pavillions to get things for dinner, came home to find Katy was back at rehearsal and Patrick Sajak had come over to visit Erin. Kinda Random. I made ribs, surfed around online, and then Katy made some corn and biscuits when she got home. Great family dinner to kick off second semester. I whipped up a batch of brownies and then we had our Christmas. It was really cute and we took pictures and everything. And Katy got me a really pretty necklace which I absolutely love. Great job, Kit Kat. After all that I went and gave Tim some brownies since it was his birthday and then went to a pointless e-board meeting for LSA.

When I came home, I kinda sorta helped Katy design her dunks, which means I just agreed to stuff, and then we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. I love that movie.

January 8

Because of drama with Candice, a few people's schedules got messed up and I was stuck opening. But because I got ish done last night, I didn't have all that much to do this morning so I could help Amber out since it was her first time opening. She was pro. Way better than Amariah and almost as good as Yeltsin. Not as fun to talk to, but it worked out alright. I worked until 10, which kind of flew by, and intended on taking a nap when I got home, but I showered and kind of dozed off and on instead. It worked out okay I guess.

Katy came home for a little bit in between rehearsals, but I was upstairs and she was downstairs the whole time. And Mike G. was supposed to come show the house again, but he failed. I spent the rest of the day listening to music and then when Katy came home, we went to pick Erin up. Then the silliness began. After dropping Erin's stuff off, half of which didn't make her flight, we all went to In-N-Out. Delicious. After talk of penises and pole dancing, we sang in the car on our way home, played with Scout, and then got ready for bed.

January 7

Katy and I slept in until noon, which was great, she left for work at 2, and then I left for work at 4. Work was super slow, but I got to work with Tim, so that was fun. And because of some scheduling drama and miscommunication, I was stuck with the dreaded CLOPEN. Since we had extra time, I got a lot of stuff done that I would've had to do in the morning, so hopefully I'll be set.

January 6

I slept in a little bit and then got ready to meet up with Fehlbaum for lunch at 1. I missed her. I kinda wish she was still just a few doors down. Anyway, we went to John's Garden for lunch but then went to go eat it at that park that's right there. We were being silly and it was great. I still had a few hours before I had to go get Katy, so I had to try and keep myself busy. I surfed the internet, Swiffered, and that was about it. I made it to the airport just as she was landing, we stopped to get pizza and milkshakes on our way home, and then watched Love Actually before going to bed. I think Katy said it's one of her favorites, but I wasn't a fan.

January 5

Scout woke me up a few times, but I didn't really get up until 11. And even then, I didn't get out of bed until close to 1. I was chatting with a few people online and I watched the episode of Parenthood that I missed while I was at Daniel's. I was planning on staying home for the rest of the night, but after getting some things done around the house, I went out to BJs to get Chris a gift card and deposit some money in the bank. I came back, wrapped presents, and then surfed around online after taking the trash out. It was my last night home alone, so I should've thrown a party or something, but no.

January 4

It was cold and dark again, but the stars were really really pretty, so it was okay. Opening with Yeltsin went well as usual, and work in general went well. I was off at 9:30 and the ocean on the drive back was so incredibly blue and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I tried to nap when I got home, but I never actually fell asleep. I was in that half asleep place until maybe 1. I went and got my car washed and ran some errands before coming home and surfing around online for a bit. I was thinking about going to visit Daniel, even though I knew it was a bad idea, but because he had class in the morning and because it was a bad idea, I chose not to go. I was talking to him later and he really wanted me to come over, so I changed my mind and headed out to Riverside a little before 7 and got there at 9. I was planning on staying, but I knew that was a bad idea too. And I knew we had to have a DTR. We were at his apartment for only a few minutes and then we walked over to his friend Kristina's apartment and watched part of Meet Joe Black. We got there in the middle of it and left before it ended, so I was confused. We got back to his apartment a little before 11 and watched some TV with his roommate, and then I left a little after 12. Daniel wasn't very happy that I was leaving, but I couldn't stay. I should've at that point since I was way too tired to be driving, but I didn't. And I wanted to talk to him, really, I did, but we were never alone to have that discussion. And because we didn't have that discussion, we ended up kissing goodbye. I got home around 1:45 and was waaaaaay beyond tired. I spent more time driving than with Daniel, but it was worth it. I like that one.

January 3

Not only was it cold and dark this morning, but it was windy and rainy too. Not an ideal stroll to the car, but I made it. To my surprise, Amariah was close to being on time, we clocked in 2 minutes late opposed to 10, and she didn't exactly do the whole "You're fine out here, right? Good," and leave me alone to fend for myself for 2 hours. It wasn't busy, so it wouldn't have matter had she done that, but she stuck around for the most part, so that was nice. I got to draw a new menu board display thing, so that was fun, but I didn't get a break until way late into my shift and I needed it. I left 20 minutes after I came back from my break and then came home to tidy up a bit before Mike came over to show the house.

11:15 rolled around and Mike showed up, commented on how cute our houseguest was, Scout, who I'm catsitting over the break, and then a couple and their realtor came over a few minutes later. They didn't stay very long, but I was totally okay with that.

I surfed around online for a bit, went downstairs and ate dinner and watched some TV, and then came back upstairs to read in my warm bed.

January 2

So. Cold. All. Day.

It was super cold and dark walking to my car again, and I said good morning to whoever was doing the neighborhood watch thing, but I think I scared them because they shined their flashlight on me. I'm a barista, not a burglar. It took forever for the heater in my car to finally warm me up, but I got there eventually. Yeltsin was early and already inside by the time I rolled up around 5:05, but I sat in my warm car until right before 5:15. Work was slow again, so that meant plenty of free time to be silly with Yeltsin and then Jesse and Johnny. I don't know why, but I was in a needy mood, but the boys didn't seem to mind. When I mentioned how I didn't like a certain song that was playing, Yeltsin went and put it on Indie Pop Grind. When I mentioned I had a headache because I wasn't drinking enough water, Johnny was there with a glass of water. When I said I could really go for a spoon full of whipped cream, Jesse spoon fed me some whipped cream. Loved the attention.

I stayed a little after 2 and then came home for a bit. I sat in front of the heater in the bathroom for a while just because the house was so cold and then got ready to go out to dinner. It was originally supposed to be me, Maddie, Jesse, Johnny, Yeltsin, Rob (newb), and Dallas, but Rob and Johnny bailed. It was just me, Maddie, and Dallas for a while, but Jesse and Yeltsin finally made it. Dallas left early to go pick up his boyfriend from the airport, but that didn't stop everyone from being silly. We all ate pretty fast and spent forever talking afterwards.

I then came home to our freezing house, uploaded some pictures, cleaned up my desktop, and then got ready for bed. I should've read, but I was too cold and wanted to get in my bed as quickly as possible.

1/1/11

Not as cool as 11/11/11 will be, but whatev.

My plan worked. I wasn't tired and I wasn't bitter when I woke up at 4:30. And I think I woke up around midnight to the sound of fireworks, or gunshots, but I might have dreamed that up. Walking to my car was a little scary. It was way cold and way dark, but I didn't get mugged or raped or anything, so that was good. As usual, I showed up to work on time at 5:15, but the shift from Cross Creek was late. Like really late. "6:15 right?" "Nope. 5:15." "Oh, shit! We're late." I was on time. He was late. But I couldn't get mad. I tried, but I couldn't. It was dead, so opening late didn't even matter. And Dave was 15 minutes late, Johnny was 45 minutes late, and Tim was 30 minutes early. And I got to leave a tad bit early, so that was nice. I always like working with Johnny and Tim during the same shift because they're both so flirty, but Johnny knows that Tim gets jealous, so he lays it on thick and Tim gets all flustered.

I talked to my mom and Daniel for a little bit when I got home and then took a nap until 3. Wonderful. I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening listening to music and watching some short films online.

I realized around 6:30 that I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I ate some leftovers and did some stuff around the house. I finished the night off with more music and plenty of cuddles from the wittle one.