Practice this morning went well. I was expecting it to be raining, but the sun actually came out for a little bit and I was hot by the time I went to convo. Convo was really good, but it hit a little too close to home, so it made me a little uncomfy. Maybe that's why it was good. The speaker was talking about letting yourself be vulnerable for once and let your friends help you. That's what Katy was talking about with me the other day, only she was using the "floaties" analogy. I want a person that I can be completely open and honest with, and Katy can easily be that person, but I won't let her. I won't let myself let that happen. I'm just too scared and I hate it. A lot.
After convo I came home and got all dolled up for school and finally started reading 2 hours after I really should've started. I was scheduled to give blood at 2:40, so I left and got to the HAWC just in time. I was a little worried that they wouldn't let me donate since I got a piercing recently, but I was fine. Only I wasn't. The bag was filling up super slowly and then I started bleeding, so I had to stop. I was NOT happy. And that incident kind of pushed me over the edge. I got real upset and stayed upset for the rest of the night.
I was texting Katy the entire time and she knew I was upset, and she said she'd be there for me if I needed her, only she wasn't there for me when she got home. I was alone, upstairs. Finally I caved and asked her to come keep me company before she left for her Songfest meeting, and she did, only she was on her bed and watching TV. That's fine I guess, I just wanted something different. That kind of upset me too.
I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a bit longer and then left for the library to work on homework after 7. I didn't get a whole lot done, but whatever.
Today was not my day. I was feeling so positive about it this morning too. What a shame.
No comments:
Post a Comment