March 12

I woke up earlier than I had to, and to be honest, I don't even remember why I wanted to wake up that early. To shower, maybe? But I didn't have to wake up at 9.

I kind of just sat around until Katy and I went to rehearsal at noon. It was fun, as usual. We hit up Subway for lunch and then headed back to school to have our orchestra rehearsal. It went better than I was expecting it to go. We went home after that, but I left pretty quick to give Tim my Board recommendation form, to go to Home Depot, and to buy some black pants from Target. I was planning on going to school to do some homework, but I was too tired/hungry/sad to do that. I got to thinking again. I'm most susceptible when I'm tired. It went from thinking about food, to French Toast, to our last family dinner, to the last time we were all together, to our family meeting. And that's where I got stuck. I was thinking about everything Erin and Katy said and it just made me sad. I fucked up big time and no words can express how sorry I am and how awful I feel. I wish I could just be the friend they want me to be. I wish I could be the friend I wish I should be.

After being home for a little bit I finally mustered up the strength to go to school and get my art homework done. It was kind of hard, but fun. Then I stopped by Ralphs to get some stuff. I got home around 11 and have just been kind of silly since then. Katy was being a good kid and doing homework and I've just been surfing on the computer. I made mac n cheese though. That was new. I was a little scared about it, but it was delicious and I'm glad it happened.

I'm making breakfast in the morning and we're losing an hour, so I should probably get to bed soon. Oh, Spring Forward.