May 1

Today was kind of all over the spectrum in terms of good and bad.

I woke up earlier than I had intended, but it was totally okay. I ended up spending about 2 hours tanning by the pool, despite the wind, and got some extra chillaxing time in. I should have been productive and got stuff ready for my internship, but I wanted to be lazy.

Then I left to go turn in my rental car around 3:20. Traffic was gross, but my dad and I got to Budget at pretty much the same time. I turned in my Carolla and got an Altima instead. Upgrade. We were supposed to go out to eat and we were planning on Paradise Cove, but traffic was terrible, there was no parking, and the wait was much too long, so that didn't happen. My dad cried about not being able to eat together. We had dropped Jen and Emme off to put our name down for the wait, but since there was no parking, we had to get out of there and then go back and get them. That was a journey in itself. We picked them up on the side of the road, but Jen wasn't all the way in the car and my dad told me to go, so I moved up a little bit, and the Jen lost it. "I'm not in the fucking car! Shit! I wasn't in the God damn car!" She yelled at me. My dad didn't apologize. Jen didn't apologize. I apologized. I apologize for everything. I took them back to my dad's car, they went to dinner and I got ready for work.

I wasn't looking forward to work since the past two days had royally sucked, and I especially wasn't looking forward to it when I saw that Amariah would be closing with us, but it was actually a really really good shift. It wasn't busy and I was closing with Yeltsin and Jesse. We were being silly and Amariah was just kind of there doing her own ish, so it worked out really well.

When I came home Katy, Erin, and Brittni were downstairs being cute and having a great time, so I went upstairs to shower and start on my internship stuff so I wouldn't bother them. They sounded so happy. I didn't want to ruin it. I'm glad Katy has a friend like Brittni. A best friend. I'm sad she's leaving for so long though. Katy needs someone like her. But maybe Erin will become that person for her. They already seem pretty close and I'm sure they'll just get closer next year.

I was more torn than ever about next year this afternoon. Part of me thinks that it would just be easier for everyone if we just went completely separate ways and didn't continue to be friends. But another part of me feels awful about thinking that and wants nothing more than to make those relationships better than they ever were. At least with Katy. I think Erin's a lost cause. I think we'll be friendly with each other, but I don't think we'll be friends. I don't feel like we've been friends for a while.