May 23

I don't understand how I can be so tired all day, and then when I'm finally able to go to bed, I'm not sleepy.  I don't get it.

Daniel and I woke up early so we could say our goodbyes and so that Daniel left with enough time to get back to school.  I wish I was able to spend more time with him this weekend.  It was a shame that I had to work for most of yesterday.
Staying awake during class was definitely a struggle and my eyes were doing that cross-eyed thing they do when I'm really really tired.  No good.  We didn't get a whole lot done in class since we had some pretty good discussions going on, but we still got out early.  I stopped by Starbucks to get some caffeine to wake me up for the rest of the day, but it didn't really do the trick.  I really had nothing to do at Motive this afternoon, so being bored allowed my sleepiness to creep up on me.  I was able to get some personal stuff taken care of and I looked for houses and internships, so my time wasn't completely wasted.  It just would have been so much better had I been sleeping that whole time.  I had real stuff to do during my last hour, but it didn't make up for the first 5.
After Motive, I set out for school and then set out to meet Katy for dinner.  I hadn't really given much thought to it until I started driving through the canyon.  I was definitely nervous about how it was going to go.  I was really afraid that it was going to be awkward and uncomfortable and at one point I thought about bailing.  But that was only for a split second and I could never do that to Katy.  Fortunately, I thought dinner went really well.  It took me a little bit to shake the nerves, but after that, I had a really nice time talking to Katy and eating real food.
As soon as I pulled back onto the canyon, I started thinking.  Dinner went really well and it wasn't weird between us, but I still think there's things about our friendship that we need to address before we try to make things better.  If we try and make things better.  I'm definitely willing to make things better.  I think that'd be great.  I just can't pretend that everything's been fine to this point in order for that to happen, because it hasn't.  I have a lot of apologizing to do.  And I need to get my ish together.
I stopped by Starbucks to pick up my tips and I wasn't surprised that Tim gave me more flack for my neck.  He called me out on it when I got to work yesterday, which was called for since it was pretty bad, but it wasn't nearly as bad today.  He's probably just jealous.  And I'm really glad Maddie covered it up yesterday.  It was embarrassing.
After I got home, I tried to do the loads of reading I had to do, but I just couldn't do it.  My mind couldn't focus and make sense of what was written on the page.  After reading paragraphs multiple times and realizing I wasn't retaining anything, I gave up and watched The Secret Life instead.  And I chatted with Daniel on fb for a little bit.  He is so sweet and I miss him already.  It was really nice having him around, even if it was just for a day.  Who's going to wrap me in their arms tonight?