May 5

Drowning out the world didn't work and I broke down. Big time. It got to the point where I was thinking about hurting myself. But I realized that was a really bad idea, so then I started analyzing exactly how depressed I'd been feeling. Big stuff.

I woke up early this morning to go to a doctor's appointment to check up on my back and to talk about my depression. He gave me a business card of a local therapist and put me on antidepressants. After that I turned in stuff at school, picked up a police report, went to Albertsons, and then headed off to Disneyland.

The drive getting there was rough and I cried most of it, but once I stepped out of my car, I was so happy. I was a little worried that going to Disneyland alone would suck, but it was actually really really nice. And then Daniel showed up at 2 and made it that much better. I always enjoy spending time with him. The park closed at 8, so we got to spend a few hours together before parting ways.

I was extremely drowsy from my antidepressant by the time I got home, so I chatted with Erin for a second and then showered and got ready for bed. Katy's not home yet, but I don't think I should be worried. Erin said she doesn't know where she is, so I'm sure she isn't worried either. I'm going to bed asap.