I woke up early so I could get to Motive a little early. I needed to send in my internship stuff to Ginger by noon, and couldn’t do it from home, so I really had no choice. It wasn’t a big deal though. Motive consisted of helping people with their computer problems, doing research, getting Perrier for Erin, and Facebook. Typical. But now I’m free. No more Motive.
Traffic wasn’t too bad, but I thought, as usual. I’m trying really hard to figure myself out. I think I’ve figured out how I’ve been, and I didn’t like that person, so now I feel like I’m in this transition period until I figure out who I will be going forward. I made 10 goals before going to college and I only remember half of them. Out of those 5, I can still accomplish 3. Learn how to play ukulele, learn how to surf, and be someone I’m proud of. The only important one of the list was to be proud of who I am. I’ve never been proud of myself. I’ve been proud of my accomplishments and what I’ve done, but I’ve never been proud of myself as a person. I looked at myself this way: If I were someone else, I wouldn’t want to be my friend. By the time I graduate, I want to be proud of who I am, who I’m becoming, and I want to be the type of person I would want to be friends with. I have the potential to be a great friend. I just need to actually be one for once. No more glimpses of greatest.
I came home, took diva for a walk with her new, pretty, pink harness, and then worked on stuff for the Board. I’m trying to convince myself that I can do this job well, but I just haven’t yet. I could use a little ego boost, but I don’t want to turn into J-Roz. Napoleon Complex + huge ego = never good. The rest of the night consisted of watching hours of “Say Yes to the Dress.” I can’t wait to get married. I figure my cousin Tiff is next, and then it’ll be my turn. I just need to find myself a fella. How exciting.
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