Scout kept me in bed longer than I was planning, but it just threw off my day by a half hour. No biggy. I got to my grandparents’ by 11:30 and my grandma and I went off shopping soon after. I found a dress for Saturday right away and even found a $5 dress for whenever I feel like wearing it. It was only $5. I had to get it. We then went to lunch and ate til we were stuffed and then we found myself some shoes before heading back home.
I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening just hanging out at my grandparents’ and then went home after Jeopardy. They have to watch Jeopardy.
The rest of my evening consisted of watching TV with my mom and spending time with our house full of animals.
Summer can’t be over soon enough. I feel like my life is on hold. I just want to get back to school, enjoy my last year and be happy, and then go on with my life. I don’t want to be stuck in this house, in this neighborhood, in this lifestyle forever. I need out. School and Malibu was my escape from all of this. I need to escape. But there I go, running away from what I don’t like. Running away from what’s difficult. Running away from problems. Choosing to ignore issues. But really, I’ve been over this for years. I would change it if I had the power, but in this case, I just don’t.
And in regards to how I was feeling yesterday, I think it’s too late to do something. I think I missed my window, if there even was one in the first place. But I can’t help but to think that it goes both ways. Only that window will be wide open and waiting for probably longer than it should be. It just popped into my head that I should have a date in mind, but I could never do that. I won’t. Maybe I should… but I won’t.
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