July 30

I cried myself to sleep last night.  I don’t really know why it happened, but I definitely didn’t try to stop it.  I needed to not be in my room, I needed to be in my car or on a drive, but getting out of the house wasn’t going to fly, so I stayed in bed and cried.  I ended up thinking of instances during this past year where I failed as a friend and that just fueled the fire burning within me.  I wasn’t beating myself up, I was just sad that those things had happened.  Quitting ran threw my head again.  It always runs through my head.  Quitting, running away, ignoring, they’re all coward moves.  I don’t want to be a coward anymore.  I’m not quitting.  There are multiple situations in which I need to figure out what I’m doing.  I think I’ve decided to walk away from one of them.  Not quit, but walk away.  I feel as though hanging on isn’t going to do me any good and isn’t wanted of me.  So I guess I’m done with that venture.

Today didn’t go the way I was expecting it to go.  I woke up late, but I really couldn’t help it.  I was up late, crying, and I didn’t want to wake up from the crazy dream I was having.  I figured since I was hanging out with Daniel later, I should actually get ready for the day.  After getting ready, I accidently fell asleep.  I woke up 2 hours later, at 2:30, when Daniel was supposed to pick me up, and got ready for adventuring.  2:30 was actually 4.  I was a little annoyed, but it wasn’t a big deal.  Daniel and I went to the MOCA to see the Art in the Streets exhibit, which I wasn’t in to, but he loved it.  Art museums aren’t really my thing.  I like history museums. 

After we got our fill of street art, we walked over to this ramen place that Daniel’s crazy about.  It wasn’t all that great and I was still hungry, but Daniel was happy and stuffed.  He wanted to go to Olvera Street afterwards, but because we couldn’t find parking, we headed towards home.  I thought he’d just drop me off, but he wasn’t ready to give me up, so we went to the movies and saw Thor.  Not nearly as good as Captain America, but still good.  I still can’t wait to see The Avengers.  I finally got home around 11, ate real food, and I don’t remember what else.

Good day.