Written in the Sky

"Words could never make up for what you do."

Oh how I wish words could make up for everything.  I'm fairly good with words.  Writing them down anyway.  Not so much speaking them.

I did not do anything remotely productive this weekend and I should have.  Now I have so much to do tonight and no motivation to do it.  I have a meeting at 6, a Powerpoint for that meeting, reading for my 3 classes tomorrow, a paper, and an ad due Friday that I need to get started on.  This semester is much more work than last semester, but I can handle it.  I just need to buckle down and do it.  My future depends on it.  I need to buckle down and do well.  Sitting around and hoping for the best was my method in high school, but I can't get away with that here.

My POSC test last week didn't go nearly as well as I had hoped.  I ended up getting a 72 when I thought for sure I would get a B.  But POSC isn't my cup of tea.  But still.  That just shows me that I need to pay more attention and work harder than I'm working now.  My HUM test this morning went well I think.  I'm not sure when we're getting our tests back, but I feel pretty confident about it.  History is more interesting to me than politics, so hopefully I'll do better.  I need to do better in everything.  I need to get my GPA up to at least a 3.2 to get into the major I want.

Today, I will tell Katy my story.  I'll suck it up and spill everything no matter how much I don't want to.  I'll be upset with myself if I don't do it tonight.  I should have last night since I couldn't fall asleep again, but I didn't.  I thought about it, but I didn't.  I should have.  I will.  It isn't that big of a deal.  I was a completely different person last year, I made mistakes, learned from them, and here I am today.  A better person.  And I'll feel better after spilling.  It's the distance thing though.  I still have a warped idea that keeping myself away from the people I care about is the safest thing to do.

I should probably start working on stuff now...

TBC...

**1:49

I buckled down even though I didn't want to.  I got most of my work done.  I made that Powerpoint and went to that meeting, and I read for my 3 classes.  MSCO was brutal, all about newspapers, and POSC was 50 pages of boring Bill of Rights stuff.  But hey, I need to read and pay attention if I want to get better grades this semester.  I need to get better grades.  My mom even told me today that I need to do well so I don't end up like everyone else.  I usually hate reading for COM because I don't quite understand what's going on, but I LOVED it today.  I completely understood both theories discussed and one in particular is how I want my relationships to be.  It was like a map of how I need to communicate with people in order to get the relationships that I want.  I know what I want, I just need to get my act together and get what I want.  I can fix it.

But I don't think I'm talking to Katy tonight.  If she asks, I'll give her the irrelevant relevant background history that coincidentally coincides with the theories that I just finished reading.  I'll save the actual story for later.

No sleeping in in the morning.  I have to get crackin on stuff.  Fo' shizz.