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This morning wasn't as bad as the past mornings have been.  I don't know why it's been so difficult for me to wake up lately, but this morning was okay.  I ended up kind of crying myself to sleep last night.  Lame.  I couldn't help it though.  I just kept thinking about my stupid communication issues and I continued thinking about it all morning and I'm still thinking about it.

HUM was a little weird today.  Normally Sonia sticks to her outline like glue, but she was skipping stuff today and throwing everyone off.  Everyone meaning me, Erin, and Laura.  After class I came back to my room and just putzed around for about half an hour.  At noon I made my way to the post office so I could mail Rebecca's package.  I was expecting to be back at school fairly soon, but the line at the Post Office was taking forever.  I don't remember what time I got back to school, but I think it was after 1.  I've been messing around on i-tunes ever since, just listening to music to try to drown out my thoughts.  I need to talk to somebody.

TBC...

**1:56 AM

POSC was kind of lame as always.  I'm just glad that we don't have class on Tuesday.  I get a little bit or a break between my MSCO class and my COM class.  It just sucks that I can't stay up at the CCB in between.  I mean, I could, but that's a long time to try to fill.  After class I should have started my MSCO project that's due tomorrow, but I didn't.  I didn't do much of anything.  That's beginning to be a problem.  I'm starting to get into my senioritis self and just wish my work would get done without putting any effort into it.  Summer is just so close I can taste it.  It's sad how close it is though.  Only 4 weeks.

Laura finally came home so we all went to PF Changs for her birthday.  It was the whole suite this time, so it was nice and weird all at the same time.

I kind of started my project, but not really, and I'm not really feeling it right now.  I'm going to wake up and do it in the morning.  I don't think it should take all that long to do, but I want to do it right so I only have to present that project and not the viral advertising one that I BSed weeks ago.

I still need to talk to someone.  I thought up what I was going to say to Katy after coming back from getting Erin's leftovers out of the car, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.  I really hate that.  Like seriously.  I just wish I could say the things that I want to say.  That I need to say but can't.  I need to get them out.

I was going to apologize for not talking.  Then I was going to explain that since she's my best friend here I know I should be able to talk to her, but because my paradigm is backwards, the fact that she's important to me disconnects my ability to communicate.  It's like I'm scared to talk to her.  Like if talking would lead to my ruining our friendship, when in all actuality, not talking is probably doing more harm then good.  It just baffles me how I know all of this and I can't do anything to change it.  I need to figure out a way to change it.

I need to talk.