February 24- March 2

Wednesday 2/24: I had an IP Visa workshop at 9, but I didn’t wake up until 8:45. Whoopsie. I woke up, said “shit”, through on some jeans and a sweatshirt, swished around some Listerine, and bounced. I made it in time. I didn’t really want to go to convo when I got back, but Katy was already ready, so I put a bra on, washed my face, and threw in some mousse in my hair and was good to go. It was just us at convo and it was awkward. The speaker was talking about how everyone’s been hurt and how we can’t pretend like everything’s fine and how we need to talk about it. I felt like he was talking to me and I was very uncomfy by the end. Katy went to work while I worked on homework and stressed, then she came back and I went to work and stressed. She was already gone by the time I got back from work. I sat around and tried to calm myself down before Songfest which didn’t start until 11 because the room we were in was being used. I’m back to being skeptical about our group. We’re just too big. I don’t know how it’s going to work. Katy and I got back around the same time, talked about how stressed we were, and talked about spring break. Then she said, “we should probably talk about things before spring break, huh?” So I said, “yeah, probably. But considering how stressed we are right now and how much we need to do before tomorrow, tonight probably isn’t the best time.” And that was that. We did most of what we needed to do and were in bed around 2.

Thursday 2/25: Marketing went fine, but I spoke with my professor afterwards about my test from last week. I got an extra point, but he told me he was disappointed in me. I hate it when I disappoint people. I’m doing well in the class with participation and in class assignments, but I just didn’t perform the way I should’ve on the test. Thankfully stats was cancelled, so I took a nap and studied for my graphics midterm which I feel terrible about. Katy was getting ready to leave for Alex’s when I got back, so we didn’t get to talk. I made dinner reservations for 2 the other night, hoping that Katy and I could go out, but she had a basketball game to dance at, so that didn’t work. I asked Laura if she wanted to go, and she did, plus her roommate, so we went out and had dinner at 7 and got back around 9:15 and then headed up to the CCB for rehearsal. We now have 4 songs that sound great and 3 dances that look shitty. Katy’s group has 3 dances, 2 of which “look like crap.” So maybe Gamma Ghkkkkket is okay. I just don’t want to be embarrassed when it’s show time. And Katy knows our theme. Thanks to Amber, who isn’t even doing Songfest. I’d slap her if we still lived together. I am so glad that we don’t anymore.

Friday 2/26: We were woken up at 7 by the pleasant sound of the fire alarm. That’s the second time this semester. I don’t know what happened this time. We weren’t out for very long, but we were more pissed this time. Katy and I went back to sleep, Karen went to her job shadowing thing, and then Kasey, Katy, and I went to convo. I grabbed some lunch with Kasey afterwards and Katy spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework and her application for a career coach. We had an appointment to talk to a realtor at 3, but she was still busy, so I ended up going by myself. We just talked about the Malibu Villas, which are incredibly nice and in our budget, but I was kind of hoping for a house. I didn’t want to talk about other options without Katy there, so I left and I got back around 4. Katy got back around that time too and then I left for work at 5, she left to take Isabela to the airport, and then she went over to Oxy.

Saturday 2/27: I had work at 11:30, baseball, but since it was raining the night before, I was hoping it’d be cancelled. It was bright and sunny when I got there, but it started raining pretty soon after. The game was supposed to start at 1, but it took them until 2:30 to decide to cancel it. It sucked standing in the cold for 3 hours, but at least I still get paid. There was pretty much nobody on campus and nothing to do, so I opted to do my laundry. I was going stir crazy, being cooped up in Towers, and I wanted to go see La Boheme, the school’s opera, but my laundry wasn’t done in time. I went to Ralphs to get some things and was back around 9. Katy got back around 9:30 and we didn’t say anything besides hi until 11 when I asked her how her Friday and Saturday went. Then we stopped and didn’t start back up again until about half an hour later.

Sunday 2/28: My original plan was that Katy and I would leave school around 11 and spend the day with my fam bam. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way because she had to work. Then the plan was to leave the next morning, but then that one was scratched too. I spent the day bumming around the room and contemplated doing homework, but didn’t. I did, however, go through a whole mess of music that I’d been meaning to go through for a while. Music’s absolutely wonderful. I’ll marry it one day. Katy came back from work around 11:30, but just for a little bit to do laundry, was supposed to come back around 7, but didn’t get back until 8, the time I figured we’d be on the road. Oh, plans. What good are they? And we kind of had our talk while Katy was at work, only it was a text conversation. Again, not at all how I wanted it to go, but it kind of happened, so I shouldn’t complain too much. We were on the road by 8:30 and at my dad’s around 9:30. We ate, watched TV, and then chatted like normal before we finally went to bed. Oh, life.

Text convo:

K: We really cant live with Shelby. Shes too little. The new pictures on fb creep me out.

D: I was just looking at them and thinking the EXACT same thing!

K: Like seriously. Is she a legal midget?

D: Hahaha. I don’t think so. I think you need to be under 5 ft and she looks the same size as dimler.

K: But she’s funnier shaped lol. Im a horrible person.

D: She totally is. If youre a horrible person, I am too. Ive been thinking the same things.

K: We’re meant for each other : ) are we still fighting?

D: Haha. I didn’t really think of it as fighting in the first place, more like unneeded awkward tension. As much as I don’t want to, I still think we should talk about it. Unless you don’t think that we need to. I could be okay with that.

K: It felt kind of like fighting. Um I only think we need to talk if you have stuff you feel like you need/want to say. If things need to change then we need to talk about it.

D: Im really sorry about that. I don’t think I had/have anything more to say about it.

K: About anything? I just don’t want you to keep pretending youre ok if youre not, you know?

D: If you want me to think of something to say, I can. Nothing really comes to mind at the moment that hasn’t already been said/written/typed

K: I don’t want you to. You just said that you felt like we should talk, so I don’t want to stifle you if you want to lol

D: I just thought talking through it would be better than exchanging messages via fb. But what do I know? I don’t talk about things. We don’t have to talk about it.

K: I don’t mind talking about stuff I just thought that you really wanted to but then you never brought anything up so I got confused

D: Its fine. No talking is necessary

K: Are you sure? I want things to be able to go back to normal but I don’t want to feel like youre only pretending its normal. Does that make sense?

D: That makes sense. Its fine. Really. I just mainly want to explain that im truly, deeply, sincerely sorry for how I handled everything.

K: And im really really really sorry that I made you uncomfortable. And I do trust you, I just got a little freaked because I felt like I had lost my footing so I had no idea how to gauge our interactions anymore after that first message

D: I think it might take a little bit to get back to where I was in terms of talking to you, which wasn’t all that far anyway, since I think this was kind of a step backwards, but I’ll get there. Don’t worry.

K: And I think its gonna take me a bit to get back to how comfortable I feel with us, but I’ll get there.

D: I feel that way too. I think we’ll be alright though

K: I hope so. Will you promise you wont let things build up for a year and a half before you mention it again if I promise to be more considerate?

D: I promise.

K: I promise too. I just don’t want to delude myself into thinking things are better than they are again, you know?

D: I know. Again, im really sorry. Times a million. Plus three

K: Don’t be. It’s half my fault too. Im glad we talked/texted about it all though. I feel much less confused

D: I’ll probably be apologizing for a while, so get used to it. But im glad youre less confused

K: Well then I’ll keep apologizing too. Im so so so sorry

D: Don’t be lol. Just get back here so we can go eat and leave… if you haven’t already eaten.

Monday 3/1: Another plan was foiled. Katy and I were supposed to go to Six Flags with the freshies, but it was closed. Thankfully I checked Saturday night and not right before we left. That would have been bad. We opted for Knott’s Berry Farm instead. We woke up around 9:15, were on the road by 10:30, and met up with Karen at Knott’s at 11. The park was absolutely deserted, so we were able to ride everything multiple times without a problem. It started getting cold around 5, so we decided on a few more rides and were done by 6, which was convenient since the park closed at 6 anyway. Karen went home for dinner, but I took Katy to Lucille’s, a bomb-ass BBQ place. We were stuffed before we could get through half of our food, but it was delicious anyway. We got back to my house around 8:15, chillaxed for a bit, and then watched It’s Complicated. It was barely 11 when it finished, but it felt way later than that. We got ready for bed and were out cold shortly after.

Tuesday 3/2: I had a stupid dentist appointment at 9, but I guess it worked out since it was early enough so that I could let Katy sleep instead of having her go with me. Who brings their roommate to a dentist appointment… during spring break. Lame. My teeth were absolutely fine, but they want me to wear a different retainer, so I had to take impressions. Gross. I was back by 10, Katy woke up, we ate, and then it was off to my grandparents’. My mom had a dentist appointment at 11, so after she was done, she met up with us and we went out to lunch, minus my grandpa who was napping. We chillaxed til a little after 4 back at my grandparents’ house, but then Katy and I left since we were sleepy. My mom got home maybe around 6ish, we did more chillaxing, and then Katy and I went over to my dad’s so I could see my little sister. We watched American Idol and then split to catch Shutter Island. It was definitely a mind fuck and we didn’t get out until close to 1. The original plan was to eat our leftovers from dinner the night before, but we were way too tired to eat, so we were out cold pretty soon after we got back to my house.